LOS ANGELES, November 27, 2013 — Wednesday night at Sundown, Jews worldwide eagerly await Hanukkah, the glorious Festival of Lights. Latkes (potato pancakes) will be consumed, dreidels (tops) spun, and songs sung. Normally celebrated closer to Christmas, Hanukkah 2013 arrives before Thanksgiving for the first time since 1888 and for the last time in the next 78,000 years. Excited Jewish households are preparing to stuff turkeys with latkes for “Thanksgivingukkah.”
Yet Hanukkah 2013 comes amidst existential threats to the world’s Jews. Externally, the Iranian mullahs have been given carte blanche by President Obama and European leaders to acquire nuclear weapons and wipe Israel off the map. Sanctions against Iran have been loosened, never to return. Promises of toughness if Iran breaks their word are hollow given that they come from Western leaders who are also known for breaking their word. The “red line” on Syria became as incomprehensible as the blurred lines of Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke. Iran is now free to obtain nuclear bombs.
Internal threats to Judaism’s survival are even more dangerous. Jews have a 52 percent intermarriage rate. Fifty percent of Jewish women 34 and older are childless. Secularism, atheism, and liberalism have reduced many Jews to stereotypes of bagel-eaters watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with no interest in preserving Torah — Old Testament — traditions that actually matter.
Given all this, should politically liberal Jews even bother celebrating Hanukkah, or should they just skip the holiday altogether?
Awhile back it was recommended that liberal Jews skip Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. People who cannot go 24 hours without hating conservatives and Republicans should stay home rather than offer fake prayers.
Hanukkah is an even bigger internal struggle for liberal Jews. Try as they might to deny the truth, Hanukkah is a military celebration. It is a Neocon holiday honoring military force. Hanukkah’s message is politically conservative: When dealing with genocidal enemies, force is the only solution. Diplomacy is an utter waste when negotiations become a stalling tactic between bouts of terror.
Politically liberals Jews are not monolithic.
Some liberal Jews have zero Jewish identity whatsoever. They are legally Jewish, but unaffiliated. They will not be celebrating Hanukkah anyway. In some cases this is indifference. In other cases it is self-loathing hostility. Leftist Jews are known for trying to publicly scrub the Judaism off of themselves in the hopes none of it sticks.
Other liberal Jews are liberals first and Jewish second. Their true religion is liberalism. Hanukkah celebrations will be turned into gay marriage rallies, global warming sermons, abortion rights rallies, and interfaith events heavy on politically correct tolerance of Islam and light on anything remotely Jewish. The Maccabees’ military victory over Gorgias and Nicanor will be a footnote if mentioned at all.
This holiday is about Jewish pride directly derived from Jewish military strength. This is the exact opposite of Jewish liberalism, known for hand-wringing, angst, and guilt over any kind of success.
Some liberal Jews insist they possess Jewish pride. Yet when the rubber meets the road and Judaism clashes with liberalism, they choose liberalism every time. Judaism may matter, but liberalism matters more. They will attend Synagogue and light Hanukkah candles while refusing to stand up when world leaders knuckle under to radical Islamists wanting to exterminate the Jews for good.
The Maccabees did not smoke peace pipes, sing Kumbaya, or beg world leaders to like them. They did what Israelis do every day and American liberal Jews refuse to do. The Maccabees saved Jewish lives by actually saving lives and supporting those trying to save lives. They spilled blood to preserve life.
Hanukkah celebrates the justifiable use of brute force. It is the Jewish version of America’s Independence Day.
This is not a holiday for people who care more about trees and bunny rabbits than human beings.
This is not a holiday for those willing to dialogue with murderers bent on their destruction.
This is not a holiday for those who see evangelical Christians and Pro-Likud Jews as enemies.
This is not a holiday for those who worry that second-hand smoke from Hanukkah candles could cause a hole in the ozone layer.
This is not a holiday for those who remember the Holocaust but will not lift a finger to prevent another one.
This is not a holiday for those who complain more about Israeli Jews building houses on their own land than on Palestinians blowing up those houses and innocent children inside.
This is not a holiday for those constantly criticizing the nation of Israel for trying to preserve their lives while making every excuse under the sun for Arabs worshipping a culture of death.
This is not a holiday for those who celebrate the end of a war merely because it ends.
This holiday honors those who fought a just war because they won.
Hanukkah celebrates victory.
Conservative Republicans of all stripes understand this, and must not let the meaning of Hanukkah be co-opted by liberals who want to “celebrate” a holiday by stripping bare the holiday’s very meaning.
For those who want to honor the Jews who used hard military power to break an enemy and preserve the Jewish people, light a Hanukkah candle or several and break out your best blue and white pride.
The Maccabees faced overwhelming odds against internal and external threats. So do Israelis and conservative Republican American Jews. Defeating the Islamist enemy is the easy part. Getting past their leftist enablers is tougher.
For liberal Jews who talk tough after the game is over but are missing in action when real battles like stopping Iran need to be fought, just stay home.
Let the rest of us enjoy the true meaning of Hanukkah without social justice Jewish surrender claptrap.
Liberals prefer lecturing Israel to doing anything helpful. The best liberals can do is just get out of the way and let the rest of us enjoy the next eight nights.
We have a world to save and 6,000 years of tradition to protect.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. Follow us: @wtcommunities on Twitter.
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