WASHINGTON, March 20, 2013 — President Obama arrived in Israel today to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Despite tension between the two world leaders, it is very gracious of the leader of the free world to take time out of his busy schedule to meet with Obama.
Everything about this trip is clear except the purpose. While it is impolite to ask a guest “why are you here,” many Israelis will be looking at Obama and asking exactly that.
President Obama has been pilloried by his critics for not visiting Israel during his first term. He has been seen as kicking Israel in the teeth by keeping advisers such as Samantha Power who are openly hostile to Israel. The appointment of Chuck Hagel as Defense Secretary is another source of frustration for the Jewish state.
Obama is not bringing a peace plan. He is not forcing Netanyahu to adopt one. He is not there to discuss Iran. This is not a vacation. Despite being treated like a Mickey Mouse state by the rest of the uncivilized world, Israel is not Disneyland.
Is Obama in Israel just to look busy? If so, he could just take a photo op eating bagels with some Jewish leftists on a Boca Raton golf course and be done with it. To travel thousands of miles and accomplish nothing … he has a Secretary of State for that.
There is one possibility that has yet to be explored. Perhaps President Obama is converting to Judaism.
While this seems farfetched on the surface, it would be a brilliant political tactic. When non-Jews criticize Jews and Israel, they sometimes fall vulnerable to charges of anti-Semitism. Yet self-loathing Jews can criticize Jews and Israel all they want with zero repercussions.
An episode of Seinfeld dealt with this phenomenon. A dentist friend of Jerry’s converted to Judaism and began telling Jewish jokes. He never could before the conversion. This same dentist took umbrage when Jerry told anti-dentist jokes because Jerry was not a dentist. Seinfeld was even accused of being a rabid anti-dentite.
By changing his name from Barack to Baruch, President Obama could put down Jews and undermine Jewish culture in ways even Jon Stewart could only dream about. Obama could seize guns from Jewish Second Amendment supporters faster than Dianne Feinstein. He would no longer need to subject the poor Obama family dog to a life of sharing his water dish with Barbara Boxer, Chuck Schumer and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Obama would have instant cover. Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod have lifetime immunity to undermine their own people. Now their former boss would as well.
Obama’s conversion would have to be a reform conversion, since an Orthodox conversion would involve Obama reading texts and learning about viewpoints different from his own. Orthodox conversions are hard work. With Reform Judaism, he could just claim himself an expert, declare the traditions obsolete, and attack religious Judaism relentlessly. Instead of being called an anti-Semite, he would now in leftist circles be known as a Jewish scholar.
For those rejecting the idea that Obama is going to Israel for the purpose of converting to the Jewish faith, one simple question must be asked.
Why is he going?
Let the shoulder shrugging begin.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS.
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