LOS ANGELES, January 17, 2013 — President Obama wants to “do something” in the wake of a rash of public school shootings. Newtown, Connecticut spurred his charge, but even in the last few days there were school shooting victims in St. Louis, Missouri. There are solutions, but President Obama would not have the courage to implement them.
Obama issued a $500 million, 23-point plan yesterday that is a collection of points without a point. It bears no resemblance to an actual plan. Rather than go with another failed Obama plan, would it not be better to try something that might actually work?
Here is a quick quiz. Which of these will help reduce gun violence?
1) Institutionalize mentally ill people and forcibly treat them, like we used to. We have a horror of old-style insane asylums, but mental health care has made huge strides, and mental hospitals are hospitals. Letting the mentally ill die or kill on the street is not compassionate to anyone.
2) Shut down public schools. They don’t work. Private schools, charter schools, and home schooling is the only way to prevent more dead children.
3) Encourage more abortions. The world is a terrible place, and children cannot be harmed if they are never born. Raise taxes on the wealthy immediately and redistribute the money to Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and the NOW.
4) Don’t employ a gunrunner as Attorney General. If Obama dares blame law-abiding gun owners for school shootings, then let’s blame Eric Holder. More people are dead because of his guns than from the guns of any other gun owner. Mexican children have been murdered with “Fast and Furious” guns. Once one of those weapons is traced to an American school shooting, Obama may realize his cabinet is the problem. The top law enforcement official cannot oversee gun felonies that are his fault.
5) Ban white people from having male children. Vice President Joe Biden has praised China’s one child policy, but the Chinese prefer the wrong gender. Most school shooters are young, white males. Reducing the number of them in American society increases diversity and multiculturalism. Obama can appoint Sister Souljah to enforce the program.
6) Leave law abiding gun owners alone. They didn’t screw up the mental healthcare system, the education system, or any other system. Liberals did.
7) Start a national gun registry along with national registries for abortions and smokers, since guns, abortions and smoking all result in death. Then we can have a national registry of registries to coordinate every infringement on our freedoms. Eric Holder can be promoted to Registrar Czar.
8) Any movement to ban magazines should start with People and Cosmo. They do more damage to women and young people through their advice and dating columns than any man holding a gun could. If those magazines are allowed, then all magazines are allowed.
The answer key to this little freedom and safety quiz is: Proposals 1, 2, 4 and 6, and 8 make sense; proposals 3, 5, and 7 are almost as worthless and destructive as anything President Obama has proposed.
For those wondering why Hollywood is not on this list, the answer is that the world would be a better place when not one American ever discussed these clueless hypocrites in any column ever again. Sadly, celebrities do not come equipped with a silencer. The only person silent on the corrosive effect of Hollywood is President Obama. Consider this his billionth “balanced approach” that is neither balanced nor an approach.
Those who are horrified that this quiz is “cavalier” and “joking” about murdered children should reread proposal number one. It’s the insanity, stupid.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. Follow us: @wtcommunities on Twitter
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