Barack Obama: Skeet-shooting beta male

President Obama had pictures taken of him skeet shooting and throwing a football. Nobody is fooled. He is a metrosexual beta male. Photo: Associated Press

LOS ANGELES, February 7, 2013 — President Obama may wish to use his recently self-given enhanced absolute powers to drop a predator drone on the White House photographer. Recent photos of Mr. Obama attempting to skeet shoot, do pushups, and throw a football have become fodder for internet hilarity.

The Obama White House is the most transparent administration in history, so their claim that the pictures were not “photo-shopped” should be taken at face value; they wouldn’t lie. We don’t even know whether Obama knows how Photoshop works.

In the big scheme of things, these pictures are silly. From a psychological standpoint they do provide an amusing window into Obama’s “id.”

Obama said to his political director in 2008, “I think that I’m a better speechwriter than my speechwriters. I know more about policies on any particular issue than my policy directors. And I’ll tell you right now that I’m a better political director than my political director.”

Obama’s lack of humility is misdirected. It would be one thing if  he were trying to impress women. Most men in the bar would happily regale the ladies with stories of how they killed a grizzly bear with their bare hands. Every guy deep down wants to be the Dos Equis “Most interesting man in the world” guy. Obama believes he is more fascinating than that. “I killed bin Laden. Stay thirsty my friends.” In Obama’s version, he even has a better beard.

The problem is that Obama is trying to impress other guys. Between bowling a 37 and living with a woman who bans him from smoking and eating hot dogs, Obama is the man who no man should ever want to be.

It may kill him inside, but the evidence is clear. Obama is a metrosexual.

Skeet shooting? Doing pushups? Throwing a football? Who does he think he is, Vladimir Putin? Next he will be hunting tigers, riding horses bare-chested, and driving NASCAR. You will see him standing next to Dale Earnhardt Jr. stuffing Skoal Bandit “chaw” in his mouth, incorrectly.

Obama thinks you can talk your way to being an alpha male. He is of the “male gender,” but he is not a “guy.” He is certainly not a “regular guy” or a “guy’s guy.”

This is not totally his fault. Real men have been in decline since 1967. That was when Phil Donahue began a television show dedicated to convincing beta males that they were adequate as human beings. Donahue had his hindquarters kicked every night by wife Marlo Thomas. By dragging every other man down to his level of beta male, he would be less inadequate by comparison.

Barack Obama is not the boss of his house. His wife and his mother-in-law would slap him six ways to Sunday if he upset them. All the predator drone kills of al Qaeda terrorists will not change the fact that Obama sometimes acts like a “sissy,” a “prissy,” and a “wussie” throwing a “hissy.” To accuse him of “acting like a woman” would be sexist and unfair to the many strong American women who actually do like men with “a pair.” Obama is a metrosexual beta male, and no amount of pictures to the contrary will undo the one photo of him wearing his “mom jeans.”

He can protest all he likes that he can talk to the guys about football. He is a liberal feminized she-male in the tradition of Gore, wind-surfer Kerry and Dukakis. The only alpha male in the entire Democratic Party is Bill Clinton, who shot a duck to win votes. Maybe Obama can have Bubba redistribute some of his manliness so that Obama can have some of his “fair share.” Maybe a local Chicago drug dealer can help Obama score some beta blockers.

Obama can claim that he is a regular guy, not some elitist snob hanging out with Wellington, Winthrop, Chartwell, Biff and Muffy. He can claim that he didn’t serve up plates full of carrots and celery sticks at his Super Bowl party. He can claim that he understands “sport.”

His memoir was about his realization that he did not fit in anywhere. Now he realizes that he does, and that beta males are not and never will be cool.

Not even a photo of him shooting a football while doing Jack Palance one-armed pushups on top of a moving race car will change that. Real men are “retrosexuals,” and President Obama should never pretend to know what that means.

 

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”

Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. 

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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.

 

 

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