LOS ANGELES, February 24, 2013 — The annual 2013 Academy Awards have arrived: And the Oscar for best insignificant narcissist goes to…some insignificant narcissistic.
While the world explodes in flames and the American economy teeters, tonight is the annual event where media imbeciles will focus on gaudy outfits, red carpet moments, and ever pious, and usually very liberal, millionaires pretending to care about ordinary Americans.
Tonights drinking games should include a shot of Scotch (a very conservative drink) for every mention for the need for more gun control or Sandy Hook. They will not mention Chicago and the children being killed there everyday though.
Over sixty since the Newtown tragedy. But that would be a downer to talk about and something we can’t feel good about being indignent over.
Seth MacFarlane is hosting, meaning an overdose of ideological bigotry. MacFarlane once showed Hitler wearing a McCain-Palin button. That is “edgy,” defined as stale jokes in front of a supportive idiotic audience.
Liberals give each other awards just for being liberals since none of them would win anything based on merit. Awards will be given to those that best bash republicans, either directly or by attacking their policies in film.
Unless it’s one of those great shoot-em-up action movies starring actors that jump into commercias to cry for gun control, but then celebrate through their “art” the utter mayham a good sem-assault rifle can cause,
Hypocrites. Leftist ideology long ago replaced quality.
Some say it is unfair to indict everyone in Hollywood. After all, like Palestinians and liberals, why blame the 20% of entertainment industry not drenched in toxicity? After all, 80% is not a majority. Oh, wait. Never mind.
The Oscars are boring, predictable, and disgusting. Academy voters seem to have a formula for what they like. For example, one way to get nominated is to play a homosexual activist. The activist must be heroic. If played by a real leftist, all the better.
Let’s see a documentary about Sean Penn. A conservative actor would play him as Penn assaults Madonna and cameramen.
For “dramatic effect,” he can be shown praising Alec Baldwin while a tape runs of Baldwin verbally abusing his daughter and more cameramen. Academy voters probably thought “Milk,” was about lactation. Those praising the “Vagina Monologues” as “groundbreaking” must have thought a movie about breast milk would be “courageous.”
Another way to get nominated is to play somebody dying from a politically correct disease. AIDS is a good choice. Cancer is not. After all, many homosexuals and drug users get AIDS.
To really stir the emotional pot, the victim must suffer discrimination from an evil corporation, vile Republican, or both.
Another option is to play a “handicapable” person. Overcoming physical or mental illness, provided that the story tilts leftward, works magic. Anti-war activists injured in battle make great Oscar nominees.
When the academy runs out of generic movies of leftists as heroes, the next option is to find an evil conservative villain. The lead actor should have real life hostility toward Republicans. Anything attacking Republicans works.
“Frost-Nixon” is a movie that takes place three years after Nixon resigns in disgrace. Talk about kicking the dog while he is down.
Listening to a conservative bellow, “I told you I didn’t want to take any questions on Watergate!” makes Academy voters swoon.
The last step is to ignore the movie altogether and find somebody who died “tragically” and “way too young.” Always a winner.
The 2008 “Batman” movie was outstanding. It deserved nominations in every major category. Yet a politically conservative message is a non-starter for the Oscars.
The Academy snobs would not think of deigning to let a “comic book” movie win where it counts.
Why should that matter? “The Dark Knight” was a stunningly brilliant movie that should have given Oscar nominations to Morgan Freeman (Lucius), Michael Caine (Alfred the Butler), Christian Bale (Batman), and especially Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Two-Face).
Another almost certainty behind Eckhart should have been Gary Oldman (Commissioner Gordon).
Michael Caine has been praised in the past by the Academy, but that was for playing the lead role in a movie that pushed pro-choice abortion activism. Marketed as a sweet movie about children in an orphanage, the agenda was clear.
Heath Ledger deserved a nomination. He was excellent, although not as brilliant as Oldman or Eckhart. Yet he got the nomination not for his work, but because he died too young, and tragically.
The Academy said this loudly.
The phenomenal 2012 Batman movie showing Occupy Wall Street as evil never had a chance.
Then, when all else fails, foreign love stories are the path to the little gold man. Anything foreign appeals to the Academy.
Whether it be Asians crouching about tigers and dragons, or people from India falling in love, foreign lovers are all the rage.
If there is no love story, political activists are a global sensation. One year it is Irish revolutionaries, the next year Tibet.
The less the story matters in the real world, and the fewer the number of people that watch it, the greater the chances for a nomination.
The worst part of this fiasco is the self-congratulatory left-wing blather. For those who truly care about self-indulgent spoiled Hollywood brats, walk outside. There will be people bent over just enough to treasure their own scent mixed with coke powder.
Next year the Oscars should be moved to a more appropriate location, perhaps to DC inside Obama’s glutial cavity.
I would like to thank the Academy for absolutely nothing. To quote rapper Big Daddy Kane, “Burn Hollywood Burn.”
At least when the event is over with the industry can get back to its day job, putting out left-wing garbage and calling it art.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS.
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