2013 Academy Awards: The greatest Oscars in the history of television

The 2013 Academy Awards saw one of the greatest events in the history of television. The Oscars were a shining example of diversity. Photo: Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence, Anne Hathaway, Christoph Waltz

LOS ANGELES, February 25, 2013—Sunday saw perhaps the greatest multi-hour event in the history of entertainment. 

Enough about the thrilling Daytona 500, where Jimmie Johnson edged out Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Danica Patrick. The Blue State self-congratulatory marathon known as the Oscar’s included everything liberals are allowed to get away with.

Host and Obama fundraiser Seth MacFarlane managed to offer racism, sexism, and ideological bigotry to an adoring liberal crowd. He even managed to throw in the obligatory joke about Hollywood cocaine use to an audience not sure if hard drugs were positive or negative.

There were rare moments of class. Daniel Day-Lewis was funny in winning the best actor award for “Lincoln.” Singer Adele (the innocent victim of a cheap “fat” joke) is always classy and unpretentious.

Yet much of the evening was the typical narcissism associated with self-indulgent spoiled brats celebrating their right to get paid for playing make-believe.

The show was twenty minutes in before a single award was actually announced. Yet Seth MacFarlane needed only twelve minutes to make a racist joke. He “confused” Denzel Washington with Eddie Murphy, because humor about all black people looking alike is amusing in a liberal audience.

SEE RELATED: Golub: 2013 Oscar’s Report: Live from the Academy Awards

The NAACP would not find comments like that funny coming from a conservative.

He made fun of Hispanics Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayek just before Miss Hayek went onstage. He pointed out that nobody understands what they are saying, but that nobody cares because they are hot. Hispanic groups and feminists would probably be angry if Republicans made a joke like that.

McFarlane even asked later on if the show could “get any more gay.” Actress Wanda Sykes is on a nationwide kick to get people to stop saying “gay” when they mean “lame.” Ann Coulter was attacked for calling John Edwards a word rhyming with “maggot.”

Time will tell if MacFarlane is held accountable. Time is up. The answer is no.

The movie “Argo” won the award for the best picture. This was unsurprising since a movie worshiping Hollywood had a great chance of winning a best picture award at a Hollywood award show worshiping Hollywood. 

Before the show George Clooney bragged that he would be drunk beyond belief by the end of the night. MacFarlane tossed Clooney a flask during the show.

Michele Obama was allowed to spend several minutes giving a thinly veiled speech about why we should all support Barack Obama’s movement to “invest in education.” She was careful with her words, but anybody to the right of Leon Trostsky knew why she was speaking. For those remembering when Laura Bush spoke at the Oscars in such a critical time in the production, put down the cocaine powder.

There were no wild animals released from the Los Angeles Zoo to roam the red carpet. There were no predator drones aimed at Los Angeles. There were also no filters on MacFarlane, who got in his obligatory dig at the “Christian right” just because he does that.

In other words, nothing noteworthy happened at the Oscars. 

The Academy Awards took place at the same time as the Jewish holiday of Purim was wrapping up. Purim is about putting on costumes and getting drunk. The Oscars are like Purim, except the religious significance with Academy attendees involves self-worship.

Some people may wonder why the focus should be on a few tawdry moments rather than the attendees and artists themselves. The answer is that if a Republican Party fundraiser involved one racist joke, the rest of the entire event would be overshadowed. The Oscars are a Democratic Party fundraiser. Let’s see if bigoted jokes still matter, or if Americans should “lighten up” because MacFarlane is “just a comedian.”

Terrible human beings detracting from society got together to celebrate themselves. They then went to after-parties. Police will be on hand to make sure any drunk driving incidents are swept under the rug. 

Now that the Academy Awards have been handed out, Hollywood can go back to the hard work of living in a moral cesspool and celebrating themselves on a normal, every day basis.

For those interested in people accomplishing anything of value, the sports pages will have plenty of Daytona 500 coverage. 

READ MORE from Eric Golub at The Tygrrrr Express

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”

Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. 

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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.



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