Katy Perry Awards: The top ten bimbos of 2013

Here are the annual Katy Perry Awards dedicated to the top ten bimbos of 2013. Photo: AP

LOS ANGELES, December 30, 2013 — Year’s end is a time for lists — 10 best, 10 worst, and now the top 10 bimbos of 2013.

“Bimbo” is a gender-neutral term. Anyone can be a bimbo. It is defined as the complete lack of anything remotely resembling substance. The societal contributions of bimbos range from useless to destructive.

Those honored on this list in previous years were all more vapid than President Barack Obama. Out of respect for the office itself, the empty suit famous for “hope,” “change,” and “yes we can” was left off the 2010, 2011 and 2012 lists.

Original bimbo winner Katy Perry went on to become the only two-time winner. She was the epitome of everything wrong with society. Not only is she vapid, she openly celebrates being vapid. Her music lacks substance, but her personality won the award. From openly hitting on virgin Tim Tebow to getting kicked off Sesame Street for bearing cleavage, Perry kept acting like herself. She publicly called out an ex-boyfriend at a concert. Her brief marriage to Russell Brand combined the substanceless woman with the man who abused every earthly substance.

Perry insisted on opining on politics, strutting around in tight dresses and telling millennials to vote for Obama. Perry-Brand also made idiotic comments about Israelis and Palestinians. She praised everything Obama while her business managers legally had her avoid paying tons of taxes just before his policies kicked in.

For these and other reasons, the bimbo awards are now the Katy Perry Awards. Perry has now been removed from the list to give other disgraceful figures a chance.

10.) Anthony Weiner/Eliot Spitzer/Bob Fillner—These three liberal Democrats are the real war on women. After Weiner and Spitzer resigned from previous positions due to their respective naked Tweeting and call girl scandals, they quickly returned and tried to win public office again. Weiner even aimed for a promotion while still sexting young women. San Diego Mayor Bob Fillner resigned after groping more women (discovered) than Bill Clinton. Now three men will need to get real jobs, assuming they have a single employable skill.

9.) Lizz Winstead—She co-created the Daily Show, so it is no surprise somebody affiliated with Jon Stewart would engage in toxic, smug behavior. Even by Stewart’s low standards, Winstead crossed the line. After an Oklahoma tornado killed innocent people, Winstead took to Twitter to joke that deaths are good when the deceased are conservative Republicans.

8.) Joan Walsh/Beth Reinhard—Walsh writes for Salon, which may be a magazine about nail polish. Reinhard writes for National Disgrace Journal. Nail polish remover will not rid society of two women who sound like nails on a chalkboard with their every hysterical screech. Some feminists are normal. These women represent the angry left, blaming racism and sexism on any Republican or conservative daring to live and breathe. Everything they disagree with is bigoted, devaluing bigotry itself. Real bigotry exists, and these ladies spew plenty in their columns.

7.) Mylie Cyrus/Robin Thicke—She is the daughter of a celebrity from two decades ago. He is the son of a celebrity from three decades ago. Attempting to be controversial, they made imbeciles of themselves at an awards show. Cyrus thinks she invented “twerking,” which has been known as “grinding” long before she existed. His supposedly controversial song “Blurred lines” is a dumb song with dumb lyrics and an even dumber video. Rendering sex boring and repulsive is not the way to create controversy. 

6.) Jody Arias—Her boyfriend tried to break up with her, so she shot, beat, and stabbed him 27 times. After her conviction, she said she wanted to be put to death. She soon realized her reverse psychology attempt was failing, so she then pleaded for the mercy her murdered lover never got. She would rank higher except that she is stark raving crazy, a true sociopath.

5.) MSNBC—This network is failing not because of liberalism, but because of lunacy. Alec Baldwin and Martin Bashir joined Keith Olbermann as former talk show hosts after spewing venom that made sense only to them. Al Sharpton and Melissa Harris-Perry foment racial instability, Chris Matthews offers misogyny, and Rachel Maddow confuses being a proud lesbian with attacking the entire GOP as bigoted. Their rantings explain their ratings. 

4.) Eric Holder/Lois Lerner—He uses his Attorney General position to pit races against each other. He never explained his role in “Fast and Furious” or in allowing New Black Panthers with billy clubs to intimidate white voters at polling stations. When “knockout game” black criminals attack non-black (mostly Jewish) innocent victims, Holder stays silent. When a Caucasian attacks a black man, Holder intervenes. She used her IRS position to target half the country. Tea Party and other conservative groups had their free speech rights violated while she received paid vacation. Now she enjoys a comfortable retirement and full pension. Meanwhile, the IRS still threatens to prevent anybody disagreeing with Obama from participating in the political process.

3.) Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman—They were both fools and both blameworthy. A completely avoidable conflict exploded because two guys had to be the tougher guy rather than the bigger man. Both had chances to walk away and both escalated a conflict resulting in Martin dying and Zimmerman being a marked man who has since been involved in another gun dispute with his wife. Constant media coverage of this case helped poison race relations as Americans took sides based on preconceived biases. This common streetfight should never have been considered “news.” The media invented the term “white Hispanic” since a white face was necessary to promote a race war. The media ignores non-whites killing each other and whites killing their fellow Caucasians.

2.) Kathleen Sebelius—Obamacare is a failure. She had four years to plan a website, overseeing the worst product rollout in political history. Even after the website eventually gets fixed, the law itself is a complete cluster. She has no solutions, and is reduced to threatening insurance companies and begging young people to sign up through embarrassing billboards promoting promiscuity and binge drinking.

1.) Barack Obama—After five years, enough is enough. It is Obama who does not respect the office of the presidency. His foreign and domestic policies have failed. His ethics and integrity are rock bottom. He confuses political opponents with enemies. Never has a man with such a light record of real world accomplishments held himself in such high regard. He took a “selfie” at Nelson Mandela’s funeral because Obama’s entire life is a selfie. The embarrassing rap video featuring an Obama lookalike was promoted by the California exchange, but it captured Obama’s tin ear perfectly.

He tops the list because almost all the others on this list connect to him. They spread his failures. He is PajamaBoy sitting around talking while other adults try to get work done.

Katy Perry won the original “More vapid than Barack Obama” award. As bad as she is, he is twice her age and should know better. He may have tied her if not surpassed her in that rare combination of uselessness combined with narcissism. She represents the worst of the millennial generation, but he harnesses her to turn them into lemmings chanting nonsense as the world burns.

Barack Obama will be president until 2017, but for now he is the winner of the 2013 Katy Perry Award as the Top Bimbo of the year.

 

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. 



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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.

 

 

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