LOS ANGELES, December 19, 2013—Flying is a necessary evil, especially around holidays. While there are luxuries associated with business travel, perks are decreasing and hindrances are increasing.
On the surface this appears apolitical, but a ton of politics is associated with flying. Like everything else they destroy, liberals and their reverse Midas touch have ruined the flight experience. From trying to check in to getting through security, political correctness makes the airport experience nightmarish. Even first class passengers are not immune.
Liberals scream about deregulation, but the airlines are now over-regulated to death.
Try checking bags. Then try getting them back. Then try getting straight answers as to their whereabouts. That is the first problem, and the only one that is truly apolitical.
Airport security is where liberalism rears its hideous hydra head. While President George W. Bush created the TSA under heavy pressure from liberals, it was liberals who led the push to have TSA workers become unionized. If there is anything America does not need, it is more government workers with zero incentive to provide good service. Take people with an axe to grind, put them in a position of power, and watch them “randomly” abuse innocent people.
While we should be profiling Arabs, Muslims and other Middle Easterners for fitting the profile of those who blow up airlines, liberalism requires that TSA agents instead subject octogenarians in wheelchairs with knitting needles for scrutiny. This is to avoid hurting the feelings of the terrorists. Because government workers are mostly politically liberal, watch what happens to a passenger wearing a t-shirt with a Republican or Tea Party insignia. My Jewish black hat is a constant TSA target while nobody is ever required to remove their turban. When it was pointed out that there are zero Jewish terrorist attacks in airline history, one TSA agent remarked that there is always a first time.
Even the TSA pre-check program is phony. Those in the program are allowed to move quickly 90% of the time. As somebody who got rejected four out of five times recently despite being in the program, assurances that the rejections were “random” are as hollow as TSA workers themselves.
If TSA agents perfectly represent Obama’s America and the new age of vengeance against the silent majority, then gate agents are the reverse extreme. Their political correctness is what happens when compassion for the weakest supersedes justice.
The “first class” experience is suppose to be special. First class passengers are supposed to board the plane first, walk toward a sectioned off area, and have close to 45 minutes to relax, enjoy a beverage, and settle in while everyone else walks the other way to lesser accommodations.
Attempts to make everybody feel equal and yet still special has decimated the first class experience. Many passengers board the plane while first class passengers wait.
First come the handicapped and others requiring extra assistance. America is a compassionate society. People requiring wheelchairs, crutches and canes deserve empathy. The problem is some people abuse the system and gate agents fail to stop them. Handicapped boarding should not be for people who walk slower because they are carrying more than the allowable number of bags or because their bags are too heavy.
Then comes the absolute scourge of all flights, families with small children. One can debate whether there should be children-free flights (definitely yes), but why should these parents be given special treatment for inconveniencing others? This boarding is supposedly for children two and under, which means you can lift them and carry them on. Some people think ten-year-olds fall into this category. Try being on a plane to or from Orlando where half the plane is experiencing Disney World. Even more frustrating are the passengers who consider their dogs and cats to be their children.
The gate agents allow this because after all, children and animals are so adorable to everybody except the first class passengers forced to wait.
Then comes the call for active military personnel. This one should provide zero objection. They should actually be given first class upgrades as often as possible.
Finally the first class passengers get to board. Because of the delays caused by allowing everyone else on first, there is often no time to give the first class passengers a beverage. At least they usually have bin space, unless an inconsiderate coach passenger decides to purposely put a stroller in the wrong area.
Perhaps too many liberals believe we should abolish first class altogether. After all, it is unfair that some people get better seats simply because they pay much more money. It is unfair that some people get upgraded more often because they fly more frequently.
The entire industry needs a heavy dose of politically conservative reality.
TSA government workers are paid with the tax dollars of private sector workers. We are their bosses, not the other way around. We are producers. They are expendable. Without passengers, they go back to the unemployment line.
First class passengers pay the salaries of everybody from gate agents to the CEO. If these passengers stop flying, the airlines hurdle faster toward bankruptcy. This leads to fewer flights with fewer seats and fewer people able to fly.
While it is too much to ask that the utterly useless TSA be abolished and replaced with private security firms dedicated to quality work, it would be nice if economic conservatism brought merit back to the airline experience.
In the same way supply-side tax cuts allow for a rising tide to lift all boats, improving the airline experience comes from more growth and less political correctness and fewer ineffective regulations.
This may even lead to higher (if any) profits for the airlines, assuming liberals could stomach such an occurrence. Those profits could be taxed into oblivion so the government could hire more TSA agents, or better yet given back to the shareholders so it could be spent on something worthwhile like comfortable airline pillows.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS.
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