Chicago's Robin Kelly: Never indicted, elected anyway

Kelly has spent her entire life in the public sector yet she has managed to live off of the taxpayers without crossing the line. Photo: Robin Kelly

LOS ANGELES, April 15, 2013 — In a stunning turn of events, Chicago voters elected someone to Jesse Jackson Jr’s congressional seat who is not under indictment.

In fact, Congresswoman Robin Kelly has never been indicted, nor ever been accused of any wrongdoing of any kind. Chicago voters may wonder how she can be an effective leader in Washington and in Chicago if she is a law abiding citizen.

Kelly won the seat in a special election after Jesse Jackson Jr. pled guilty to financial crimes. Jackson took over the seat from Mel Reynolds, who went to prison for statutory rape.

Party bosses and power brokers may privately be expressing concern about Kelly’s criminal record. Her clean record and apparent disinterest in breaking the law have led some to speculate that she may not be a Chicago Democrat at all.

Those who worry she may be a closet Republican from Indiana should stop worrying. Her first speech attacked the “tea party Congress” and accused the National Rifle Association of holding the American people “hostage.”

While she is not out shooting citizens, she will at least support legislation that will get many of her constituents killed. However, even though she is another wrongheaded, liberal Democrat from a failed liberal city, that is perfectly legal.

Even more confusing is that in the 1980s, she worked as a “community activist.” President Barack Obama and Reverend Jesse Jackson Sr. are lifelong community activists, which involves taking money from those who legally earned it and giving it to those who will waste it and never produce anything.

In 49 states this is done through extortion; in Illinois it is just called the “Chicago way.” Yet even when she was a community activist, Kelly never, to the best of our knowledge, contributed in any way to a criminal enterprise.

The staggering improbability of that may force Illinois Republicans to demand an investigation into Kelly’s non-record. The Chicago Tribune might want to launch its own probe into her past. No one will want to appoint a special prosecutor, because that could lead to scrutiny of other Chicagoans, past and present.

Honesty being as rare in Congress as sobriety at a frat house, Republicans John Boehner and Eric Cantor will make common cause with Democrat Nancy Pelosi to avoid any investigation of Kelly in order to protect the other 434 House members.

Though Kelly has spent her entire life in the public sector yet she has managed to live off of the taxpayers without crossing the line. She has not embezzled from a single foundation or steered any no-bid contracts to anybody while on various boards.

Even as an education trustee, she managed not to violate the public trust. So while she has not contributed much to the American economy, she has not detracted from it either.

Kelly was sworn into Congress on April 11th, 2013. Her first 48 hours were entirely free of scandal. She is now the most ethical member of Congress from her district in decades.

Those wanting her to run for Governor of Illinois have warned her that unless she can spread around graft like the Daley Machine or curse like Rahm Emanuel, she will never make it as an imprisoned chief executive.

Rod Blagojevich of the Planet Bloggo section of Chicago had no comment.


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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.

 

 

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