French presidential election: Vive la suicide!

Socialist Francois Hollande defeated Nicolas Sarkozy to become the last President of France. Mr. Hollande's vow to raise taxes and hire more public sector workers will be France's final surrender. Photo: Associated Press

LOS ANGELES, May 7, 2012 — France is finished. Stick a fork in them. Dead nation walking.

The country known for cheese and surrender has finally thrown in the towel on its very existence. The results from their presidential election are in, and the French people have gleefully shouted “Vive La Suicide!”

After one term, conservative (by French standards) Nicolas Sarkozy was defeated by Socialist Francois Hollande. Mr. Hollande won between 51 and 52% of the vote to Mr. Sarkozy’s 48-49%.

The only thing left to determine would be whether the official death of the nation would begin the following day or after a brief transition.

This is not about Mr. Sarkozy. He entered office in 2007 with the potential to be the next Margaret Thatcher, or at least the next Angela Merkel. At the very least, he was not Jacques Chirac (Mr. Chirac was never a conservative. In this election he endorsed Mr. Hollande).

Over time, “Sarko the American” simply caved in to his Frenchness. Bold leadership was replaced with resigned defeat.

The consequences of the election should send shock waves to the United States. For all of the flaws of the French, this election was decided on substance and policy. That is why the decision of the French electorate must reverberate across the ocean to America.

France, like much of the world in 2012, is a mess. While everything is relative, France suffers from high unemployment, staggering youth unemployment, sluggish economic growth, radicalized minorities rioting in the streets, and a bloated public sector bureaucracy. In short, they are everything American liberals dream about.

Mr. Sarkozy wanted to implement austerity measures. Les Enfant Terribles went to the voting booth and shouted “Non!”

Mr. Hollande’s Opus offered much happier music. He would drastically raise taxes, especially on the rich. He would hire 60,000 new civil servants.

Does this sound familiar? Mr. Hollande promised everything except vegan-approved tofu chickens in every pot and a Chevy Volt in every garage.

This is why liberals worship France and why America must reject this path.

Liberals and France both blame America for all of their own failures. The French have “Le Monde,” while American liberals have the Jayson Blair “New York” Times.  France blames America with more passion than Barack Obama blaming George W. Bush. Nicolas Sarkozy proposed tough medicine, which is what Mitt Romney should do and Paul Ryan is doing.

The awful sad truth is that many French voters admitted that the Hollande policies would be suicidal. Yet they preferred the likely destruction to austerity.

There is no need to ask the question. The French truly have gone mad. Austerity is not punishment. It is a life-saving measure to prevent national cardiac arrest.

Those who worry what Barack Obama would do in a second term should look at what Francois Hollande is proposing. Mr. Hollande’s second term will not be necessary because France will most likely cease to exist before the 2017 elections roll around.

France is about to become Greece, only significantly less likable.

Guaranteed employment in France has prevented new hirings. Adding more public sector workers will further cripple the economy. France will want Germany’s support, and Ms. Merkel will wisely decide against adding Germany into the French game of self-immolation nation.

With the economy in full collapse, full-blown instability and riots will make France existence more miserable than at any time since the Vichy Regime.

For Jews in France, they should seek political asylum elsewhere. The Sudan would be an improvement. When things get tough, the Jews make great scapegoats. The young, Radicalized Muslims will most likely explode in rage because that is their hobby.

The elitists in Paris will most likely not get the message until the first suicide bomber strikes a wealthy neighborhood. Europe will officially be Europistan.

This is not speculation. This is reality. The French people know it. They’ve said it. They are just the fiscal equivalent of drug-addicts who believe that taking more drugs in increasing dosages makes more sense than quitting cold turkey.

Some hope that “realities” on the ground will prevent Mr. Hollande from enacting the most toxic aspects of his agenda. Even if this is true, it makes electing him totally pointless. Mr. Hollande’s rationale is straight from the Obama playbook of “I am awful but the other guy is worse.”

For those who say we should “give Mr. Hollande a chance,” that argument is moot. He has his chance. He told the world what he will do. We saw Mr. Obama try a significant fraction of Mr. Hollande’s approach and the result was total failure.

When Islamists burn sections of France to the ground, Mr. Hollande can simply say he “inherited” the problem from Mr. Sarkozy. David Axelrod could advise him on how to declare every failure a success.

America does not have to fail. We do not have to become France. The American election is a choice between those who want America to be what it always has been and the leftist Francophiles who want America to become a European social democracy.

France is now a lost cause, but the world can still be saved. This is because unlike France, America actually still matters. Replacing Barack Obama with Mitt Romney and a Paul Ryan-style budget axe would be worth more than five Sarkozys.

The alternative is to pile on more debt, raise taxes, strangle businesses, have Occupy Wall Street rioters terrorize American citizens, and finally collapse the American way of life.

This is Barack Obama’s America if he wins a second term. Liberals will finally have their utopia. America will be France.

Conservatives do not want this. We understand that France is not utopia.

France is dead.


Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.

Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.

Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS

Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.


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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.



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