LOS ANGELES, June 23, 2012 — House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi represents her San Francisco district very well. Yet even by San Francisco standards, her newest utterance crossed the line.
Only a couple of days after saying she could have personally arrested Karl Rove, Sheriff Pelosi continued her quest to steal the Barney Fife position from Vice President Joe Biden.
The scandal itself is Fast and Furious, which has engulfed Attorney General Eric Holder and led to President Obama exerting executive privilege to protect his ideological soulmate. Congressman Darrell Issa is trying to get to the truth. He wants Holder to turn over documents.
Pelosi has her own theory as to the real motives behind the push to force Holder to obey the very laws he is supposed to uphold. The Pelosiraptor has determined that the real scandal is Republicans purposely targeting Holder so they can engage in voter suppression.
Pelosiraptor synapses do not work in typical fashion. Cutting through the liberal fog reveals the same tired race warfare. Holder happens to be black. Therefore, any attempt to silence him is an attempt to prevent black people in America from voting.
“Voter suppression” refers to minorities. This is because the suppression of white voters under Holder is tolerated, as evidenced by the refusal to deal with the New Black Panther Party.
The only way Pelosi could top herself is if she figured out a way to blame Mitt and Ann Romney for the Jerry Sandusky crimes. After all, they are all Caucasian parents, what Barack Obama would call “typical white people.”
Pelosi does not have a shred of evidence to back up her theory. While Democrats have a habit in recent years of spreading racial poison, this accusation is so far beyond the bounds of normalcy that even liberal Democrats are hesitant to jump on the hyperbole train.
There is another explanation for Pelosi’s utterances: She very well could be a complete and total dingbat.
While describing her as the illiterate cousin of a dolt may not be nice, accuracy in reporting requires analyzing the reincarnation of Jean Stapleton’s Edith Bunker. The “All in the Family” actress drove Carroll O’Connor’s Archie Bunker crazy with her odd commentary that made sense only to her.
This reached its zenith when Archie pointed out that Jews changed their last names to blend into Christian society. He cited Morris Smith, Izzy Watson, and others. When son-in-law Mike Stivic tried to disprove the theory by mentioning President Abraham Lincoln, Edith replied, “I didn’t know Lincoln was Jewish.”
There was only one thing Archie could say, and he said it many times over the years.
“Stifle yourself, Edith.”
What else can one say when confronted with idiocy? Telling people to “shut up” may not be polite, but sometimes it is downright necessary. Wanting people to pipe down is based on subjective criteria, but at some point their have to be universal standards, no matter how low the television sound-bite era has sunk.
Nancy Pelosi was the woman who said of Obamacare that “We have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it.”
This is the woman who flew to Syria and put on a burka to sip tea with murderer Bashar Assad.
This is the woman who became Speaker of the House and lost the Democratic Majority in only four years. Republicans nationalized the 2010 elections largely around making her the face of the Democratic Party.
Now she wants Americans to believe that Republicans want to force the Attorney General to cooperate with a legitimate investigation of a dead border agent out of racism.
South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy called Ms. Pelosi’s remarks “mind-numbingly stupid.” While Gowdy is right, maybe Pelosi simply is unable to help herself. Maybe the water in San Francisco truly does have a higher lead content than the law allows.
Maybe she really is just the Queen of Dingbatistan.
Republicans must not be intimidated by false accusations of racism. Issa must continue his investigation. If Holder is held in contempt, so be it. Had he cooperated and turned over documents over one year ago, this could have been settled long before voters were to go to the presidential polls.
The goal is to get to the truth. The truth is that Holder and President Obama are acting like they are hiding something. The truth is that Pelosi, as usual, has no idea what she is talking about. The truth is that America in 2012 is smarter and better than the nonsensical racial politics Pelosi espouses.
So to the Pelosiraptor, I have just one message:
Nancy, stifle yourself.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.
Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.
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