LOS ANGELES, June 20, 2012 – In the Obama age, it is imperative that insignificant moments be seen as unprecedented and historic.
Therefore, this past Tuesday shall forever be known as Total and Complete Nonsense Tuesday. It was a day where stories that deserved short shrift were given short shrift.
My personal experiences had me exit a plane the night before and return home after six weeks on the road. So exhaustion became the culprit for me “mailing it in,” although some would say that this approach is the norm.
So let’s recap the stories that others hyperventilate about but many including me can barely care about.
1) Fast and Furious: Of course Attorney General Eric Holder should be held in contempt. He and President Obama can be quite contemptible. Mr. Holder’s arrogance and recklessness got a border agent killed.
Nothing is going to happen. Congressman Darrell Issa will cave because Speaker John Boehner is forcing him to cave. Mr. Holder will skate because liberals get away with everything. Mr. Boehner will once again show that Republicans are like Charlie Brown kicking the football.
2) Will Obamacare be overturned? It should be. What will the Supreme Court do?
They will do whatever they please. Spending hours and days speculating what the decision might be is useless. Actual news when it happens is what should matter.
3) Should Roger Clemens be in the baseball Hall of Fame?
Nobody cares. Baseball is boring. Mr. Clemens was acquitted of using steroids and lying to Congress. Anyone respecting the rule of law should say that his acquittal closes the matter. Ty Cobb was a racist and Babe Ruth was a drunk. This is irrelevant. Mr. Clemens should be in the HOF, and so should Pete Rose.
4) A reporter interrupted President Obama during his speech.
This is disgraceful. Even if one thinks that President Obama is a miserable failure of a leader who deserves to be fired, interrupting his speech is inappropriate. We should respect the office.
5) David Axelrod claimed that heckling is a Republican tactic.
David Axelrod is so full of Joy Behar that he should work for President Obama. Come to think of it, he does. Mr. Axelrod should know that the left invented this tactic. Saul Alinsky passed on this form of bullying to Code Pink, environmentalists, Ron Paul supporters, and every other group of anti-war leftists. Mr. Axelrod is reaping what his Chicago bosses sowed. It is called community organizing. The right is giving the left a dose of their own medicine.
6) An MSNBC reporter said…
Nothing. MSNBC does not have reporters. They have opinion columnists only.
7) Syria is murdering its own citizens.
This is shocking given that we politely asked them to stop. Hillary Clinton flew to Syria to ask Bashar Assad if he preferred Mint Medley tea or Earl Gray. He said that tea is a Zionist plot to overthrow the world. She came home, claimed he cooperated, and he shot some more people.
8.) The NBA Playoffs:
The Oklahoma City Thunder have James Harden, a black man with a beard that makes him look like an Orthodox Jew. Jews should adopt him as one of their own. He has the best hair in the NBA since Ben Wallace. While the Thunder are on the brink of elimination after another loss, all of Lebron James’s money cannot buy Harden-style hair. Maybe it can, but let’s say it cannot. The Thunder used to be the Seattle Supersonics, meaning that when the NBA Finals end, three cities could burn instead of two. Seattle people have extensive expertise already at burning their own city.
9) Ron Paul supporters:
Can we get through one day without them? Tuesday was the day. They said and did stuff. Ignore it.
Congratulations to Dale Earnhardt Jr. It was great seeing Junior get the monkey off his back and finally win a race. He has a chance to win his first championship, and many fans hope he succeeds.
11) Barack Obama wants to give illegal immigrants legal status.
It’s an election year. Of course he does. He is also giving them mandatory gay marriage whether they want it or not. All illegal immigrants shall be forced to marry each other regardless of gender so that President Obama can get reelected. Those who love the rule of law should stop complaining and just fire Mr. Obama.
12) Egypt and Europe:
The Obama strategy is to let the world burn. We can’t save drug-addicts from themselves. Leftists and Islamists will never learn.
13) To the woman in first class who let her children scream the whole flight:
Do not blame the children. Blame the mother. She is a terrible human being who should be forced to listen to me scream at her for hours on end. As for Delta Airlines, they should consider allowing some children-free flights.
14) President Obama held a press conference.
Even C-Span executives were bored. His remarks were so weak that the leaders of Syria, China, and Russia are having a severe internal debate. If they pretend to respect America for the next few months, Mr. Obama can be reelected and then they can really run wild with zero consequences. Yet pretending to respect Mr. Obama with a straight face is proving impossible. Therefore, outright belligerence is the course of action as long as he keeps pretending that everyone is cooperating.
For those who found Tuesday worthless, Thursday will be a thrill ride with the most important event of the year. On June 21st, the first day of Summer, I release my list of the Top 30 hottest women in politics.
Therefore, for those who want: 15) All other political news:
Go to the Communities at the Washington Times.
My work is done. Time to go back to sleep and get rid of the jet lag.. This concludes the review of Total and Complete Nonsense Tuesday.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.
Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS
Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.
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