LOS ANGELES, July 27, 2012 – Let the boredom and corruption begin!
Yes, its time for that biennial ritual of listening to people wax poetic about events that deserve mostly scorn.
The setting is London, which should at least remind Americans that in 2005 the world quoted Billy Crystal and said “Forget Paris.” Islamofascists celebrated the announcement by bombing London the next day.
Yet this is not just about real bombs, but the fact that most of the events are a television ratings bomb.
Sure, there are some brief compelling moments amidst the rest of the lack of excitement. First came the ruins of the Acropolis, and then came the ruinous games with occasional glimmers of hope.
Mary Lou Retton did score a perfect 10. Michael Phelps deserves his accolades. The Miracle on Ice 1980 Gold Medal U.S. Hockey Team at Lake Placid will forever be legends.
That concludes positive events occurring during the Olympics. The rest is a mixture of boredom and corruption. This in itself is difficult because normally boredom and corruption are contradictory.
Unless one is Barack Obama, being both is almost impossible.
Elaborate opening and closing ceremonies are necessary to disguise how inconsequential the actual games are. Even then, no opening ceremony has rivaled the performance of Will Ferrell doing “Chariots of Fire” in the movie “Old School.”
The games are supposed to be a time when nations put politics aside and reach their better angels. This is when world powers are not boycotting games in other countries due to issues having nothing to do with sports.
At least the Russian and American athletes in the Cold War 1980s did not murder each other. Israelis have not been so blessed.
At the 1972 Olympics in Munich, Arab Muslim terrorists murdered some Jewish athletes. Jews being killed in Germany was not new, but this would be the beginning of Islamofascism that still casts a pall over the games today. Due to a morally bankrupt world, there will be no mention of the dead Jews on the 40th anniversary of the killings.
This way the Islamofscists preparing to blow up London will not be offended.
As for the British media, they are more angry at Mitt Romney for having the nerve to worry about safety. After all, he has no expertise on the subject other than managing the most successful Olympics in recent history (other than the U.S. getting obliterated by Canada in the hockey final, which was not his fault).
The International Olympic Committee is the most corrupt organization on Earth with the exception of the United Nations. The sleaze factor is so dripping that Dominique Strauss-Kahn should chair it.
Some will say that at least the purity of the games themselves are positive. This is what the Brits would call “rubbish.” The Olympics are supposed to be the best amateur athletes on the world. The United States basketball players lost in 1988, so in 1992 they fielded the “Dream Team” professionals.
This should not be a source of pride. Other nations have been using professionals, and none of these players should be praised.
Sometimes the judges are more corrupt than anyone except recent boxing officials. It has been a decade since Jamie Sale of Canada watched a perfect skating performance result in a silver medal. After an outcry, Canada and Russia shared the gold.
Television will find a way to mess things up, as results are reported before some Americans get to watch them. It has been over two decades since David Letterman called up NBC executives such as Bob Costas and browbeated them on the air to order the Olympics Triplecast.
That skit may have been more entertaining than the volleyball that year.
Sure, there is a possibility that American medals could lead to people winning free fruit pies at McDonalds (it did in the past, do not sue me if this promotion is non-existent in 2012), but that does not require watching the games.
While some will say that the Olympics will be a distraction from the horrors of the world, it is not like the horrors will stop just because we ignore them. Iran and Syria will continue their global terrorism knowing that the world is distracted by something as scintillating as women’s golf (that may be an Olympic sport and it may not).
The only silver lining is that the National Football League returns very soon, rendering all other sports irrelevant.
This concludes the London Olympics report. Enjoy the rain.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.
Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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