LOS ANGELES, July 16, 2012 — Is there a single feminist anywhere in this country who is complaining about anything important?
Do feminists even realize that their entire movement is the child of a cliche mated with a caricature? If they know this, do they even care?
On June 21, 2012, my list of the Top 30 Hottest Women in Politics was published. The only opinions about it that I value are those of the women on the list.
Many of the women I include on these lists privately contact me and thank me for the compliment. Some of them even thank me publicly. Some women demand to know why they were not on the list. Usually those complainers are right, and I apologize for the oversight and promise to add them next year. Some women contact me before the list is released and let me know they expect to be included.
This list is all in good fun and nobody gets hurt. So who could possibly be offended by such a harmless, fun column?
Why liberal feminists, of course.
Rush Limbaugh once pointed out that feminism was created to give ugly women a chance in society. Hot women don’t need feminism, which is why feminists despise hot women to begin with.
The inevitable charges of sexism came, and one of them will be given more attention than it deserves.
The woman did not write her temper tantrum until July 10th, or about three weeks after the column was published. She claimed that she “Tweeted” me, with no response. I never got her Tweet due to technological incompetence. Twitter is the apocalypse. My life does not revolve around tweeting twits.
An act of vanity brought on by boredom was the only reason her criticism was discovered. Late night insomnia led to an act of self-Googling. Everyone does it. Most just won’t admit it. After I scrolled through about thirty pages (very bored), her criticism reared its ugly head. That tells me that in the big scheme of things, she is not widely read. Being attacked by CNN interests me. Being attacked by unknowns is boring.
For those building successful online presences, never “argue downward.” Do not elevate those who have not succeeded on their own. Those who can only build up by tearing others down deserve their anonymity. Therefore, providing a link to this woman’s site serves no purpose. At some point she will scream to the blogosphere that she matters, to which my reply is “you’re welcome.”
(Her website is amusing. It is a feminist community organizing site that actually teaches women how to write complaint letters. Now that will look good on a resume. Most prospective employers are dying to hire professional complainers.)
The woman writes under a screen name and does not post a picture. Rush Limbaugh is starting to look like an even bigger genius. Anyway, she refers to my column as the “misogynist musing of the month.” A day after her rantings, there were no comments.
She wants me to judge women based on their personalities and not their looks. Her looks are a mystery. Therefore, any comment about me finding her repulsive is solely based on what appears to be a revolting personality.
Despite her bra-burning call to arms, there was not a single piece of hate mail sent to me after her cries for help. Finally, 48 hours later, exactly four emails arrived. They all said virtually the same thing, and had the same email suffix.
Unsurprisingly, a few college girls at Brandeis University are the offended ones. Perhaps they are training to be future Sandra Fluchs. If these women ever enter the real world they can then talk to me about what is offensive.
(Also, their astroturfing is rather pathetic. Ron Paul supporters can get hundreds of pieces of hate mail out in seconds. Feminists need to understand that if you are going to organize a hate mail campaign, at least be good at it. Even French people have sent me better hate mail in quality and quantity.)
“Golub commits an egregious crime with his misogynistic and pompous pontification.”
A crime? Beneath the failed onomatopoeia and the hysterical hyperbole is a simple solution for this woman. She may not need a man, but she certainly needs a thesaurus.
This woman is just a symptom of a much bigger disease that has reduced feminism from a struggle for equality to hyper-sensitive crybabies with their priorities anatomically upside down. So again, it is time for this white, male, conservative oppressor to explain to feminists what they should care about.
1.) Radical Islamists are trying to kill us all. Women in Muslim countries are beaten, stoned, raped, and shot for trying to drive a car or walk outside unaccompanied by a male. Those who take a tough stand against this are the good guys. Those who do nothing about it are not. George W. Bush is a feminist hero for freeing millions of women in Iraq and Afghanistan. Barack Obama is a zero for leaving women in Syria to get murdered for sport.
2.) Global trafficking of young girls is evil. George W. Bush spoke about this throughout his presidency and took active steps to combat it. Barack Obama does not bother to wax poetic about the subject, since there are no electoral votes at stake. Once again, George W. Bush is the feminist hero on this one.
3.) Sexually abusing women and leaving them to die excludes male politicians from being feminists, even if those male politicians are pro-choice on abortion. Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy are not feminists. They are (were) serial abusers with zero respect for women once the fetuses were carried to term.
4.) Being pro-life on the abortion issue does not disqualify a woman from being a feminist hero. Neither does being a homemaker. Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Ann Romney are what feminism is all about.
5.) Any woman who spends one minute of her life harping on my lighthearted column admiring female beauty should be forced to live in Saudi Arabia for one month to be given a reality check on what misogyny really is.
Given the popularity of the column, some of my female colleagues have talked about putting together a column of the hottest males in politics. There is a word to describe their future column.
Harmless.
What is not harmless is modern feminism.
Feminism in the twenty-first century is like Islam. There are moderate members, but the movement has been hijacked by the radicals.
So to the radical feminists out there, start focusing on what actually matters. Otherwise your movement will remain the man-hating, unappealing stereotype that vacillates between being annoying and boring.
To hot political women everywhere, thank you for being you. Every dream about you allows my thoughts to steer away from the nightmares of those women wishing they could join you on any admired list of any kind.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.
Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS
Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.
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