Mitt Romney, Bain Capital, and a world gone mad

It is one thing for liberals to attack Mitt Romney for being a successful venture capitalist. When Republicans do it, the world has gone mad.

LOS ANGELES, January 12, 2012—Every person anywhere in this world commenting on politics or business should be forced to honestly answer a three question test. Then their answers should be reviewed by unbiased sources.

1) Do you know anything?

2) Do you know how to do anything?

3) Have you ever done anything?

Any drunk in the town square can be an armchair quarterback. The danger is when armchair quarterbacks actually have a say in how the team is run. This is unfortunate in sports but downright destructive in politics.

During the George W. Bush presidency, liberals foamed at the mouth over Enron. Enron and President Bush were both from Texas. Enron went bankrupt, proving in leftist minds that George W. Bush was corrupt. Yet the one question most liberal critics of President Bush could not answer dealt with the business of Enron. Liberals secretly had no idea what Enron actually did.

The answer most often given was “something with oil,” which meant President Bush was a criminal because he was an oilman and oil was evil. Eventually some liberals learned that Enron was an energy company and not an oil company. They insisted oil and energy are the same thing, except they are not.

In order to try to lose the war in Iraq, a non-scandal involving Halliburton was invented. Halliburton became a symbol for corruption since Vice President Dick Cheney used to work there. Yet when pressed further, many liberals had absolutely no idea what Halliburton actually did. The answer again involved people mumbling about the oil business. Yet anybody who bothered to educate themselves before speaking would know that Halliburton had a unique skill set that only one other company (Schlumberger, a French company) possessed. They won contracts not due to corruption, but because they were able to actually do the work. Their critics had no idea what that work actually was.

When liberals run out of creative ways to attack “big oil,” they then go after “Wall Street.” Barack Obama and Occupy Wall Street have attacked various employees in the financial services sector as evil without having a clue as to who they are or what they do.

This is where liberals sneer and ask “How do you know we have no idea what these people do?”

Because I listen to you, observe you, and ask you.

Barack Obama acts as if he has no idea what a hedge fund is or what it does. Hedge funds have “something to do with business” in the same way Halliburton has something to do with oil.

Sure, people could right now go to Google or Wikipedia and belatedly learn, but pretending to have knowledge after spouting off is as useful as knowing how to fix a sink after it has blown up and taken the entire house with it.

Anybody who does not know the difference between a stockbroker, an investment banker, a money manager, or a financial planner should be banned from discussing them, much less criticizing them.

Watching liberal academics pretending to understand the real world and how businesses work is a part of life that will never go away, like insects and tofu.

What is unforgivable is those pretending to be conservative Republicans attacking Wall Street in general and Governor Mitt Romney’s work at Bain Capital in particular.

For me, this is not about Governor Romney. I am neutral in the GOP primary and have no idea whom I will end up supporting. The person is less important to me than the beliefs. The very essence of capitalism is under assault, and defending it at all costs is the only acceptable option.

For those who have let the desire to win an election get in the way of common sense, attacks on Governor Romney for being a venture capitalist should be reserved only for those trying to curry favor with the left wing of the Democratic Party.

The last few days saw one candidate try to distinguish between venture capitalists and “vulture capitalists,” a made up term more appropriate for OWS protesters than Republican leaders.

Most people have no idea what a venture capitalist does. At the risk of dumbing it down for those who desperately need this, venture capitalists risk their money in the hopes of making more money. A venture is a risk. Capital is money. Sometimes these risks work. Sometimes they fail. Mr. Romney approached failing companies with the intent of turning them around. Sometimes he failed, but he succeeded more than he failed, and became wealthy through his successes.

One way to turn around a business is to grow revenues. Yet what is also often needed is cutting costs. This involves firing people.

The nerve of Mitt Romney! How dare he have the gall to invest his own money in a business and then demand to have a say in how that business was being run!

If he were “sensitive,” he could have been like Barack Obama. He could risk taxpayer funds instead of his own money, like he did with Solyndra. Solyndra went bankrupt, and 1000 workers were fired. Yet Mr. Obama lost nothing.

Barack Obama presides over a bloated government that spends into oblivion, and dead weight remains the albatross around the neck of productivity.

Mr. Obama refuses to cut costs in anything (except defense). This is why his enterprise is on the verge of collapse.

Liberals want to live in a world where nobody ever gets fired and people are guaranteed stability, safety, and security. That world exists. It is called Europe, embodied by France, and it is falling apart at the seams. Unemployment is sky high and work stoppages and riots are continental hobbies, in addition to 35 hour work weeks with frequent breaks.

So while Barack Obama encourages America to become a nation of parasites, Mitt Romney has a track record of creating wealth for himself and many others.

Nobody on the Republican side should ever expect anti-business liberals to grasp this. Conservatives can be forgiven if academics with lifetime job security regardless of quality remain uninformed skeptics.

Yet every conservative with a fully functioning brain should understand that what Mitt Romney did for a living is good for America. Even more important, Mitt Romney’s career is what this entire nation used to be about when it worked properly.

Regardless of whether one supports Ron Paul’s desire to legalize drugs, perhaps it is high time that presidential candidates be publicly drug-tested. Athletes are not allowed to take the field if they fail drug tests. Maybe America would be better off if politicians acting under a haze be forced to suspend their campaigns when they stop making sense.

The business of America is business. Business is legal.

When a drunk driver kills somebody, America does not ban cars.

When a madman uses a gun in a crime, conservatives understand that the problem is the criminal and not the gun.

While heart disease is a problem, conservatives do not try to shut down food and beverage companies.

Capitalism creates jobs. Venture capitalism creates wealth. The expression “nothing ventured, nothing gained” means exactly that. Venture capitalists should be celebrated, not scorned.

Those wishing to criticize Governor Romney on actual issues based on ideology should do so. Those wishing to attack him for working hard should try doing what he did. He succeeded where most people fail. Top talent is called that for a reason.

For those angry at Mitt Romney while pretending to understand what he actually did, remember that three question test.

Do you know anything? Do you know how to do anything? Have you ever done anything?

Of course not. So please sit down, be quiet, and stop attacking capitalism and wealth creation. Being poor is bad. Being ignorant is worse. Being both are contagious, and the spread of that disease has already destroyed Europe.

The cure is so simple. America needs more people with capital who have the guts and desire to venture.


Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.

Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.

Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS

Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.

This article is the copyrighted property of the writer and Communities @ Written permission must be obtained before reprint in online or print media. REPRINTING TWTC CONTENT WITHOUT PERMISSION AND/OR PAYMENT IS THEFT AND PUNISHABLE BY LAW.

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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.



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