Jovan Belcher madness: Neither guns or Bob Costas should be banned

In the wake of the awful Jovan Belcher murder-suicide, there are calls to ban guns and Bob Costas while shredding Amendments I & II. The solution to violence is simple. We know what to ban, but refuse to do it.

LOS ANGELES, December 5, 2012 — After the Jovan Belcher tragedy, NBC sportscaster Bob Costas echoed sentiments originally expressed by Kansas City Star sportswriter Jason Whitlock (who also compared the NRA to the KKK).

Mr. Costas expressed his opinions during Sunday Night Football, and angered many people for injecting politics into a sports broadcast. There are calls for his firing.

We should not be banning guns or Bob Costas (who under heavy pressure issued a half-hearted non-apology apology). The Second Amendment is why Mr. Costas is wrong. He let his emotions interfere with the law.

The First Amendment is why his critics are wrong to want him fired. They are letting their emotions interfere with the law. His comments were inappropriate, but in America we should not be firing people for expressing opinions.

An exception to this rule is if one is an anti-Muslim filmmaker who jeopardizes President Obama’a reelection chances. Those people are imprisoned. Most people do not fit into this category.

Mr. Belcher was drunk the morning of the killings, yet prohibition is not coming back. There are already laws against murder and domestic violence. More laws will not deter somebody who is suicidal, who by sheer definition alone, if they follow through, have nothing to lose.

We should not be banning football, cartoons, video games, or any of the typical scapegoats. To eliminate violence, we need to address the real problem. We need to ban “representing.”

That’s right. Representing has to be made illegal. Representing means taking a gun to a nightclub and somebody gets shot. “Gotta represent!” No, you really don’t. Just ban representing and be done with it. This also covers representin’, which is the same thing spoken badly.

This covers all synonyms including “keeping it real” and “expressing yourself.”

Nothing positive ever comes out of representing. Representers claim that they are just showing pride in where they are from. If this were true, Katy Perry would not tell all the California Gurlz “West Coast Represent!”

Sane Californians know there is nothing to be proud of on the left coast, which proves she is lying and that the entire representing movement is the biggest fraud not involving Al Gore.

Anything connected to the culture of representing needs to be banned. This includes pimps, players, playas, mack daddies, daddy macks, and any of their misspelled cousins. Dogs can remain legal if they are canines. Doggs and Dawgs should be banned. Sorry Snoop Dogg, but your dawgs Nate Dogg and Warren G. sang “Regulate.”

Well now they need to be regulated.

Slang should be banned since that leads to violence. A young kid told me he wanted to “ax” me something. While getting ready to run for my life, it seems he only wanted to “ask” me something. Asking is fine.

Axing people is already illegal in non-Massachusetts states.

All acronyms should be banned, because anybody too lazy to write complete words and full sentences does not need hands or keyboards to begin with. Anybody using sentences that are not real sentences such as “You are so fail” should be banned. Nothing is “so” anything.

Keep in mind that banning something is not the same as waging “war” on it. All wars should be banned unless actual munitions are involved. We declared war on poverty and homelessness, and poverty and homelessness won. A war on women was alleged, and America got stuck in the muck with the (Sandra) Fluke. What bad luck.

Some will say that even idiocy is harmless because it is just words. Yet as Cher pointed out, “Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.” Well if I could turn back time, most words would never have been spoken.

When one takes Sandra Fluke, Katy Perry, and all of these other destructive speaking forces together, it just forms one big collection of people representing. Representers say a lot, yet somehow say absolutely nothing.

In 1776, it was “no taxation without representation.” Now to save the Republic it should be “no more taxing our patience with representing.”

Representers will not stop on their own. This is why America needs anti-representing legislation.

Now replace “representing” with “guns” and see the sheer stupidity of it all. Stupidity cannot be banned, but it must be called out. A three month old baby is now an orphan. Focusing on anything else about this situation is stupidity.

My work here is done, with one lingering question.

Should social networking be banned? Find me on Facebook and Twitter to find out. Or don’t (Shrug).

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”


Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Read more from Eric at TYGRRRR EXPRESS


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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.

 

 

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