New Years Eve starring Rapper Lil John and Hawaii Senator Brian Schatz

As the ball drops, the best way to ring in New Years Eve is with rapper Lil John and Hawaii Senator Brian Schatz. Happy 2013! Photo: US Senator Brian Schatz, HA

LOS ANGELES, December 31, 2012—In New York, 2013 begins with the dropping of the ball. In a small North Carolina town, the dropping of the possum is the ritual. Yet nothing says New Years Eve like a rap star and an unknown politico.

The rapper is long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil John. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.” Yet Lil John also brought the world one of the greatest party songs, “Shots.” A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as 2012 ticks down.

Yet while this celebrity is established, the Lieutenant Governor of Hawaii is just beginning the next phase of his political career. With the passing of Senator Daniel Inouye, Governor Neil Abercrombie is sending his second in command to Washington as the next Senator from Hawaii. He has just been sworn in, and his term begins with the new year. His name is Brian Schatz, although his last name is pronounced “shots.”

The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking inbetween occasional bouts of governing. Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress should welcome him as the newest celebrity. Let Lil John do the swearing-in ceremony as the Republican Party and the Democratic Party continue to spend like drunken sailors at a never-ending New Years Party.

Happy New Year Schatzie! Welcome to Congress!

“When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.
In the Democratic party, all drinks are free.
We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s fiscal cliff time, so jump on down!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

The ladies love us, when we give free stuff
From contraception, to other needless fluff
We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House
If you ain’t cliff diving, get out of government
Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!”

To all of you worried about the fiscal cliff about to explode on January 1st of 2013, fear not. End of Days was pushed back on the Mayan Calendar from December 21st to December 31st of 2012. New Years will not hurt one bit.

Welcome aboard Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

(Congressman, please put your pants on. Put down the intern and the ukelele and remove the lampshade. Sir, no more Jello shots tonight. Sir, please don’t text that to Facebook or Twitter.)

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2013! Ok!!!!!!!!

 

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”

Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Tw


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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.

 

 

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