LOS ANGELES, December 10, 2012 ― For every innocent Syrian killed, there is a world organization with bloodied Syrian bodies on its filthy hands.
That useless, ineffectual bastion of anti-Americanism and anti-Semitism known as the United Nations has decided to stop doing nothing and start looking busy.
Recent reports say that Syrian strongman Bashar Assad is moving and preparing chemical weapons, which suggests that he is willing to kill his own people in order to maintain his weakening grip on power. This guy is as dangerous and crazy as Occupy Wall Streeters. Although he is less organized than they are, they are not threatening to murder thousands with Sarin gas.
Meanwhile, the United Nations has decided to look like they have the ability and inclination to prevent genocide anywhere.
President Obama took a brave stand by curling up in a fetal position and sticking to what he knows, which is community organizing. Mr. Obama called the situation “unacceptable.” This is code for an involuntary reflexive muscle gesture known as shoulder shrugging.
Those determined to declare Mr. Obama right about everything spouted gibberish for four years about how a tough stand by America would endanger Americans in Syria. First of all, what the heck are Americans doing in Syria? Was Cancun out of hotel rooms? The day after Benghazi, every diplomat in the Middle East should have abandoned their posts knowing they would not be protected.
Yet if Mr. Obama represents individual inertia, the U.N. is an entire club of plutocrats who long ago confined their activities to shopping in Manhattan and sexually assaulting hotel workers.
In an attempt to get Assad to stop using tactics that only Saddam Hussein or a Chicago Mayor could love, the U.N. has decided to send Assad to bed without supper. They then compromised and gave him supper but not dessert. They then decided to be flexible and give him dessert but not read him a bedtime story. They then decided to stop being cruel and give him a bedtime story but not kiss him on the forehead goodnight.
They discussed keeping Syria off of the Human Rights Council. That persuaded Assad to stop murdering his own people, if by “persuaded” one means “had no effect whatsoever.” The U.N. needed months to discuss possibly having a vote on a meaningless gesture.
Then the Obama administration working (which once upon a time was defined as actually doing things) in conjunction with the U.N. decided to issue sanctions against Syria.
Sanctions? Again with the sanctions? Which sanctions were these, tough sanctions, sanctions with bite, meaningful sanctions, or sanctions sending a message? Was Obama crystal, perfectly, or absolutely clear?
One part of sanctions is “freezing” Assad’s accounts, akin to politicians freezing spending. It means nothing. We can freeze the accounts of his that we know about. Like past Palestinian and New Jersey leaders, secret slush funds are untraceable. Assad has plenty of money, and all we are doing is freezing money that actually had a chance of going to the Syrian people the U.N. does not even claim to care about.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton stated that Assad’s use of Sarin gas would cross a “red line.” Hillary is leaving her job. Does anybody think Bashar Assad cares what she has to say, much less John Kerry or Susan Rice? Killers with poison gas are not scared of verbal gasbags.
Should we restrict Assad’s air travel to contain him in Syria? Isn’t the whole crux of the problem that he refuses to leave?
Assad is determined to stay in Syria for life and the U.N. sanctions him by forcing him to stay. Syria may have poor areas, but Assad does not live in them. This is like banning U.N. members from leaving their swanky Manhattan hotels. Where are they going to go, the Bronx?
Let’s pretend that the U.N. actually cares that innocent people are being slaughtered by a meglomaniacal dictator. Let’s also pretend that Assad and his dwindling but ruthless band of supporters are not, to quote Zell Miller, using spitballs. Assume they are using real adult guns firing real bullets. Pretend they have chemical weapons. Pretend those weapons are most likely some of the WMD that Saddam Hussein smuggled in from Iraq that liberals still claim never existed.
In America, gun control advocates should notice that what separates us from Syria is what happens when bad guys break into some American homes. In Texas, it often ends up bad for the bad guys, who are by definition…say it clearly…bad.
If the goal hypothetically is to prevent mass slaughter, could somebody in the civilized world figure out a way to get real guns with bullets to people being unjustly murdered? Is that too much to ask?
This is not about sending in American troops. Just either get weapons to the innocent victims or do nothing. If the objective is to do nothing, at least admit it. Babbling about sanctions is meaningless prattle that only a State Department bureaucrat could love. They need to defog their glasses at Foggy Bottom just once.
Until then, it is comforting to know that the U.N. decided to rethink their approach and stop being so aggressive. They will kiss Assad on his forehead and go back to criticizing “genocidal” Israelis celebrating their evil Hanukkah holiday, also known as their quest for mere survival.
President Obama had four years to deal with Syria. The United Nations had over a decade. Inaction then is what is causing genocide now. Inaction now is why Assad will murder everything in sight with impunity.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”
Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS. Read more from Eric at TYGRRRR EXPRESS
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