LOS ANGELES, May 23, 2011— Barack Obama stated that it is time for Israel to compromise and engage in a mutually agreed upon land swap.
As a staunch Israel supporter and Neocon, this proposal will finally solve some major lingering problems. Barack Obama has demanded that Israel return to its 1967 borders. Mr. Obama needs to lead by example.
It is time for Barack Obama to return to his 2007 borders.
He was doing just fine as a community organizer turned inconsequential senator from Illinois. He has too much land now, and he is unable to manage it all. It is coming at him from all sides. He needs to give up some territory to others in order to focus on his core land. He should hand the White House to the Republican Party promptly.
They deserve right of return.
In return for his returning to his 2007 borders, Republicans will promise to recognize his right to exist. By right to exist, we mean he will be able to sit quietly and not make any more speeches.
His Teleprompters should be blown up with all the passion of the Palestinian homicide bombers that he only tacitly condemns.
Americans are tired of watching warring parties fight over disputed land. For the sake of peace in the American political process, Mr. Obama can make the painful concessions necessary. If he is willing to give up land for peace, it will show how magnanimous he is.
Yes, some will consider him a sucker, but at least the Nobel Peace Prize he was given would actually be worth more than a romantic evening with Helen Thomas.
Mr. Obama is a humanitarian who is committed to human rights, not counting the hundreds of people being shot in the Middle East on a daily basis as he turns a blind eye.
To reward his hard “work,” Jimmy Carter can help build him a new house in Illinois. To keep faithful to their socialist ideals, the house will be the exact average shape and size of every house in Illinois. To ensure that the house is not better than average, union labor will be employed to build it.
The builders will be hired based on diversity quotas and many other metrics. Experience building homes will not be criteria.
Mr. Obama returning to Illinois could be inevitable. Unless he succeeds in finally eliminating that awful Constitution and its charter of negative liberties, Mr. Obama was going to have to leave his job in 2017 at the latest.
This gives him a head start.
Next door to Mr. Obama, a halfway house can be built. That will be where Palestinian “refugees” can be held.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu should embrace this plan. It leaves Mr. Obama with a small plot of land only nine miles wide, or approximately the size of Mr. Obama’s ego.
In Israel, they call it partition. In Congress they call it redistricting and gerrymandering. For Mr. Obama, it can be called social justice.
Those who love to yell “No justice, no peace” can finally see justice done and peace accomplished.
Mr. Obama, return to your 2007 borders. It would be the best political decision you have ever made, and you would unite the entire country in support of your action.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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