ANDERSON, IN, December 23, 2013 — ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and at the computer, the family still huddled; the season was neutered. The stockings were hung by the chimney, all right, but getting Obamacare would take half the night.
There is nothing Americans like better than gathering together as families, swearing at the computer, as it grinds, slower and slower. The anticipation of finally getting through to the government, to sign up to pay another tax, is so thrilling, we have looked forward to it for nearly four years. In fact, we’ve been trying, with great enthusiasm, to do this since October 1.
During his umpteenth vacation, the president, lounging in Hawaii, interjected himself again into the most blessed Christian – and most-festive secular — holiday, proclaiming as only he can that the population is blessed to have such a tuned-in guy running things. He said, on what has now become the penultimate day to sign up for the new healthcare insurance tax, that we can’t forget about him and just put things off for another day. We have until midnight Christmas Eve to pay his tithe.
Obamacare’s original supporters in the health insurance industry must also be ecstatic. They will have another few hundred thousand application to process by January 1, atop the five million or so that may already be properly signed up – and they’ll have one-seventh less time. (One fifth less, if you think they’ll get Christmas and New Year’s Eve off.)
So, thank you again, Mr. President, for putting yourself front and center, for giving us another opportunity to pay your taxes, for disrupting family and sacred traditions. Enjoy Hawaii and your own super-duper health insurance. We all love you.
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