Email signatures for every occasion

Email signatures reveal a lot, and the words we use can often promote additional, pleasant thoughts in the recipients. This collection covers a lot of ground. Photo: Pen mightier than the sword never saw automatic weapons/ Wiki commons

ANDERSON, Ind., December 2, 2013 — Email signatures often convey more information or emotion than the emails they accompany. Since they are usually written by someone other than the individual writing the email, they, like humor, can often say in a polite way that which we dare not say on our own.

Signatures originated nearly simultaneously with canned email programs, allowing senders to add their addresses, phone numbers, and yes, email addresses, automatically. It didn’t take creative types long to start adding quips, barbs, and good wishes in their signatures.

It is good to have a number of signatures available, and to keep the messages apros pos. Tacking on, “Have a happy day!” doesn’t work when you’re expressing sympathy to a tornado victim.

Feel free to use any of these; they are either in the public domain, or permission has been granted for their use, with attribution. Add your favorites in the Comments, and feel free to share and re-tweet. Somebody might be looking for one of these! Drop me a line through the site, and I’ll send you my whole bag of signatures.

Some useful signatures:

“The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” — Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution

“He had a vision, a vision of the future, and just how he was going to build it; and his enthusiasm was so great that he just swept everybody along with him. Not that we knew where he was going …” — Cher’s eulogy for Sonny Bono

“Be memorable and relevant; and if you can’t do that, be brief … Actually, be brief, anyway.” — Bill Clinton’s public speaking advice, related by Mikhail Baryshnikov; Northwestern University commencement, 2013

“That is what I regard as the most immoral thing on Earth: to attack a man, not for his faults, but for his virtues … People will want to make you feel guilty for your success. That is the greatest evil, according to my philosophy.” — Ayn Rand

“The only way to shut everybody up is to win.” — Terry Bradshaw

“Just remember, you’re a unique individual, just like everybody else.” — Gertrude Stein

“In America, you have a right to be stupid, if you want to be.” — U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” — General Douglas MacArthur

“I can make a living by telling the truth.” — Casey Stengel

“Money doesn’t buy happiness. But happiness isn’t everything.” — Jean Seburg, actress

“You do not genuflect before an ordinary loafer; why should you pay homage to a bureaucrat?” — Frank Chodorov

“Until we can re-establish a condition under which the earnings of the people can be kept by the people, we are bound to suffer a very severe and distinct curtailment of our liberty.” — Calvin Coolidge. See and hear this speech at  

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.” — Clarence Darrow

“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there’d be a shortage of sand.” — Milton Friedman

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” — Robert A. Heinlein

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” — Steve Jobs, Commencement address at Stanford, 2005

“It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.” — Joseph Joubert (1754-1824, French essayist)

“I hate being in front and I hate being back, and I don’t like responsibility, and I don’t obey orders.” — T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia)

“Some men say the Earth is round; some say it is flat. And if it is round, can a command of the Parliament make it flat? And if it is flat, could the King order it to be round?” — St. Thomas More, at his trial for treason. He was subsequently decapitated.

“Has enlarged power been found to be less liable to abuse than limited power? Has concentrated power been found less liable to abuse than distributed power?” — U.S. Senator Samuel Tilden, N.Y., 1816

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Tim Kern

Tim Kern taught economics for fifteen years, and discovered that understanding life is easy; it’s recognizing reality that takes practice. He holds a music degree, and later earned an MBA in finance from Northwestern University. He has lived across the US, and now makes his home in Anderson, Indiana.

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