NATCHITOCHES, La., January 24, 2012—Newt Gingrich is doing his level best to ensure that President Obama keep his job. He's working harder for it than any other member of Obama's Committee to Reelect the President. He's a one-man CREEP.
The two men have much in common. Obama is a brilliant constitutional scholar, so brilliant that he managed to edit Harvard Law School's Law Review without ever penning an article, then land himself a position of some sort at the University of Chicago, brilliantly managing never to publish a thing. Gingrich is a brilliant historian, so brilliant that Freddie Mac paid him a $300,000 retainer and then $25,000/month, just to expound on history.
Obama is the architect of our economic recovery. He's done more to fix the economy than anyone else has, ever. He's created millions of jobs (if you don't notice, it's because he's been creating them in the hole that Bush dug), and he'd have created countless millions more but for the fact that Republicans hate jobs and he's had to fight his own party in Congress. Gingrich was the architect of Reaganomics, responsible as a junior member of the House for all the jobs created in the 1980s.
Obama is one of the most brilliant political strategists of all time, challenged only by Newt, who reminded us in Monday's debate, "I helped Governor Reagan become President Reagan." The unlikely ascension of Reagan to the White House is truly testament to Newt's genius.
Obama has been called the "best orator since Cicero." He could make a reporter's leg tingle just by reading a phone book. Give him a teleprompter and he can even read a speech. Gingrich is the best debater since Douglas, and no one has ever mastered the outraged wagging finger better, not even Bill Clinton.
Neither Obama nor Gingrich has ever been to blame for anything. Obama reformed health care, and if he couldn't do more, its because Bush "drove America into a ditch." After creating Reaganomics and then reforming welfare and balancing the budget, while the rest of Congress remained completely inert, Gingrich resigned the speakership because his political and business affairs were, ah, pristine and the Republicans were out to get him. And he didn't pay a fine; it was a voluntary donation.
Obama caused world peace just by being alive, and he accordingly won a Nobel Prize for just that reason. Gingrich, according to his doodlings, saved civilization. His prize is probably lost in the mail.
Made desperate by the idea that Mitt Romney might displace Obama from the White House, Gingrich has proceeded to do what Obama's surrogates do. He's denounced venture capitalists and renounced market economics. There will be no capitalists in the White House if Newt has anything to say about it.
The Obama Administration needs Newt. Obama's poll numbers haven't been good for many months, but by standing next to him, Gingrich will surely make them go up. If anyone can make middle America and political independents fall back in love with Obama, it's Newt.
America is out of love with Obama, and it's not in love with Newt, except in South Carolina, where after hearing of his winning ways with women, GOP conservatives invited him into their collective bed. But that's okay; Obama and Newt have more than enough love for themselves to go around.
Politics is a tough and brutal business. Obama and Gingrich know that, and they have the drive and fortitude to do whatever it takes to thrive in the political world. Their partnership represents a happy confluence of interests. If he can put Obama back in the White House, Newt will then go home and write his next best seller. It might be called, How Mitt Romney Destroyed the GOP, if Romney gets the nomination, or How Mitt Romney Recklessly Wrecked My Campaign and Destroyed the GOP, if Newt himself somehow gets it.
In either case it is sure to be a fascinating read. Only if Romney wins the White House is this campaign a losing situation for Newt, and so we can rest assured that he will do everything he can to ensure that doesn't happen. So can President Obama.
Also read:
Florida GOP NBC Debate: Beth Reinhard of the National Journal is a national disgrace
Every conservative at some point will complain about liberal bias, but Reinhard could not even hide her contempt for the people she was questioning.
Romney assails Gingrich during Tampa debate: The tin-man comes to life
By showing signs of life in his debate performance, Mitt Romney may have breathed new life into his campaign.
Mitt Romney and the real state of our union
Mitt Romney fears for the future of America.
Newt Gingrich the Republican Dark Lord
Newt Gingrich’s life’s purpose is the quest for absolute power. In the present tense, he seeks the restoration of the power he lost.
James Picht is the Senior Editor for Communities Politics and teaches economics at the Louisiana Scholars' College in Natchitoches, La., where he went to take a break from working in Moscow and Washington. But he fell in love with the town and with the professor of Romance languages, so there he stayed. Now he teaches, annoys his children, and makes jalapeno lemonade. He used to keep newts in his terrarium. He tweets, hangs out on Facebook, and has a blog he totally neglects at pichtblog.blogspot.com.
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