Remember that prolific poem "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum? Well, according to a recent study, it may have been all you needed to earn a decent salary as an adult, too!

A provocative new study concludes that children who do well in kindergarten earn substantially more as adults. The study was based on a longitudinal Tennessee experiment that tracked 12,000 students who are now 30 years old. It concluded students who had learned much more in kindergarten were more likely to go to college than students with otherwise similar backgrounds. They also were less likely to become single parents, and more likely to save more for college and earn more.

All else equal, they were making about an extra $100 a year at age 27 for every percentile they had moved up the test-score distribution over the course of kindergarten. A student who went from average to the 60th percentile — a typical jump for a 5-year-old with a good teacher — could expect to make about $1,000 more a year at age 27 than a student who remained at the average. Over time, the effect seems to grow.

Wow! Here I was thinking that my friends who sacrificed their own luxuries and comforts to enroll their children in and pay for the best schools were jumping the shark. They were on the right path all along.

There is a huge damnation and judgment of the pathology of being a single parent in the study that I am not going to touch — not today anyway. And also, certainly, the most expensive does not equate to the best in all circumstances.

All of that notwithstanding, one thing these types of conclusions result in is extra guilt on parents! It’s not like we aren’t already burdened with an unhealthy amount of guilt about various life decisions that have an impact on our children. Most of us want the best for our kids, but admittedly because of different priorities, resources and support, we sometimes aren’t in a position to accommodate it at all times.

I know on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, I feel guilty about:

• Not spending more time reading with my children
• Spending more time online than with my children
• Not doing more to get them into better-performing schools
• Not setting up all of their 529 plans yet
• Waiting too long to respond to a wailing child
• Spoiling them and giving in to their desires too much
• Not feeding them a nutritious meal or at least trying harder to

I know others feel guilty about

• Having gone through postpartum depression
• That they couldn't make it work with the partner they had a child or children with
• Enjoying and longing for time away from their children

It ranges. Guilt can be challenging, especially if you use other families as a barometer for yours. It can take a toll on your stress level if you let it.  You may believe another household is more organized than yours or the fact they take their kids on more vacations mean yours is deprived because you do not do the same.  A worried parent may even project their own feelings of inadequacy on others and build up resentment.

At the end of the day, I suppose, we should learn to take a step back and take personal responsibility for our own actions. Second, what is best and works for your family may not work in another family, so why do we worry so much about trying to meet another family’s standards?

Guilt is as guilt does, if I can borrow from and paraphrase Forrest Gump for a moment. Though it’s hard, we really need to learn to judge and gauge what’s best for our family based on our own unique dynamics and personal situations. I think once we are well-meaning, the first step is to analyze what things are within our means and control. Stop making excuses and step up. The things that are not in our control may not be able to be helped, so there’s really no need stressing about them.

A long time ago I adopted the motto, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Certainly, our children’s upbringing and rearing are not “small,” but there sure are a lot of other “small” elements of raising children that are not worthy of the guilt and stress.

I know it sounds cliche, but sometimes we really have to learn to just let it go.

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