MILLINOCKET, Maine, March 20, 2012 - Our intrepid research journalists have uncovered a document, which they say is a collaboration between Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
It is slated to become the foundation of the “New World and American History” textbook to be published by Funominal Press in the fall of 2012.
Here are a few excerpts from that document:
September 31st, 1929 was the first day of spring and the day after Christmas. The stock market crashed in the morning just as the evening news with Katie Couric came on. President Roosevelt called a meeting of the Joint Chiefs, and they rolled one.
The President called CNN and made a statement. He said not to worry, the economy was fine, the government would take care of everything. To show his confidence in the system, he went water skiing behind a Navy destroyer on Lake Pontchartrain.
When Poland invaded Mongolia, it was so hot in Siberia at the time that you could cook kielbasa on the sidewalk in Moscow. That is the preferred method of cooking kielbasa to this day.
But the Chinese launched Sputnik, and everyone panicked. The US bought up all the land east of China and flooded it so no one else could use it. The Corps of Engineers built a moat around Hawaii so Barack Obama could vacation there.
The Republicans loaned money to people with no legs to stand on. Their pants had no pockets to hold the money they needed to make mortgage payments. That’s how we got into the deficit.
These excerpts seem to hint that Obama and Biden will next collaborate on the “Basic Economics” textbook as well as the “International Cookery Book,” which will also be published by Funominal Press, a division of Miss Concept Publishing.
You can order his book Pithanthropy, The Human Conditioner, in print and on Kindle fromAmazon.com
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