Obama Visits Israel, Avoids Hamas Rockets

As Obama compares Israeli-Palestinian relations to those between the U.S. and Canada, Canadians respond by firing rockets into Wyoming. Photo: The People's Cube

WASHINGTON, March21, 2013 ― In an historic move to heal wounds between the U.S. and the Zionist Apartheid State, President Barack Obama has started the first international diplomatic tour of his second term with a stop in Israel. 

In an equally historic move, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reached out to Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas with a request to make peace with Hamas so that they could resume joint rocket attacks against Israel for one day. 

“We understand the peace process has dragged on, but if the Palestinian Authority and Hamas could set aside their differences for this one day, and maybe work on their aim a bit, we’d really really appreciate it,” said Netanyahu. “We promise not to retaliate.”

Netanyahu seemingly tried his best to help Hamas with their historically abysmal aim by re-positioning Obama repeatedly during ‘photo opportunities.’ 

Reports indicate that at least four Hamas rockets were fired on Obama’s first day in Israel. None of the rockets came close to their target, which was unfortunate for the two West Bank families, who inadvertently got entirely wiped out. This gave Al-Jazeera an opportunity to blame the 23 deaths of Palestinian non-combatants on Israel.

Obama continued on to the West Bank today to meet with Abbas, where he unexpectedly likened future Israeli-Palestinian problem-solving mechanisms in a two-state solution to those used between the U.S. and Canada - VIDEO.

Canada responded by firing several rockets at Casper, Wyoming.

The homemade rockets fell short, killing several cows and destroying a barn and out-buildings belonging to the Johnson family just outside Bismarck, North Dakota.

“There can be no so-called friendly diplomatic solutions between the U.S. and Canada,” said Canadian Prime Minister, Seal Harpooner. “Not as long as they give up their secret plan to push us into the sea and take all our bitumen! We have tried diplomacy and they turned down a free bridge into Michigan. Friendly solutions, my cheddar! And we want our Cup back.”

No group had taken responsibility for the rocket attacks as of press time, but sources suggested they may have been the work of the University of Regina’s Amateur Model Rocketeering Club.


READ MORE FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE


This article is a satirical collaboration with The People’s Cube contributor, Sister Massively Opiated.

_________________________________

At The People’s Cube, we do NOT equate all “liberals” with communists. The purpose of this website is to pick up “liberal” hitchhikers and give them a ride to the communist wonderland - the inevitable end result of their “well-meaning” policies.

Oleg Atbashian's People's Cube


This article is the copyrighted property of the writer and Communities @ WashingtonTimes.com. Written permission must be obtained before reprint in online or print media. REPRINTING TWTC CONTENT WITHOUT PERMISSION AND/OR PAYMENT IS THEFT AND PUNISHABLE BY LAW.

More from The People's Cube
 
blog comments powered by Disqus
Oleg Atbashian

With a whole lot of humor and an eye to the absurdities of poltics and politicans, Oleg Atbashian brings the news and views from The People's Cube to the Communities and you.

Born and raised in Ukraine, Oleg Atbashian has been a teacher, translator, construction worker, satirical journalist, and at one time a propaganda artist, creating visual agitprop for the local Party committee in Siberia. In 1994, he moved to the US with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, and whose citizens were appreciative of constitutional rights and capitalist prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. He started writing satire again, this time in English, publishing a large number of essays, political parodies, and cartoons, in various media in America and around the world.

In 2005 Oleg Atbashian started ThePeoplesCube.com, a forum-based spoof of "progressive" ideology with a loyal conservative/libertarian following, which he runs under the name of "Comrade Red Square, People's Director, Department of Visual Agitation and Unanimity." Rush Limbaugh described it on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion." The site contains thousands of hilarious, original satires and graphics by contributors from all parts of the US and the English-speaking world.

Contact Oleg Atbashian

Error

Please enable pop-ups to use this feature, don't worry you can always turn them off later.

Question of the Day
Featured
Photo Galleries
Popular Threads
Powered by Disqus