PRISM: NSA spying foils NSA plot to attack NSA

Without the PRISM program the NSA never would've been able to discover that the NSA has been actively plotting to attack the NSA. Photo: Oleg Atbashian

WASHINGTON, June 23, 2013 ― In a stunning development, the National Security Agency (NSA) reports that PRISM, the secret spy program that monitors all internet activity in the U.S. and the world and stores all the data in acres and acres of massive super-cooled buildings somewhere in the desert, has uncovered an active ongoing plot by the NSA to use the PRISM program to monitor, spy on, and collect all the internet activity in the U.S.

The NSA is concerned that the newly discovered NSA PRISM program is to be used to launch an attack against the NSA and potentially undercut the efficiency of its PRISM program.

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“This PRISM program shows just how important it is for our national defense to have the PRISM program,” stated the NSA director.

“Without the PRISM program the NSA never would’ve been able to discover that the NSA has been actively plotting to attack the NSA with this scandal. This proves how effective the program is and why it’s so vital for national defense,” he said.

Official reports indicate that PRISM intercepted internet chatter about the PRISM scandal on various websites and e-mails, which it effectively stored, cataloged, interpreted, “rang the alarm in the night,” and gave us timely warning of the threat to the NSA PRISM program.

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“Incompetence of a few rogue agents are to blame for the news being leaked,” the NSA director explained.

An internal investigation into the attack is underway.

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DISCLAIMER: This article is a satirical collaboration of The People’s Cube authors under the collective name of “Karl Marx Treatment Center.”

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Oleg Atbashian's People's Cube

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Oleg Atbashian

With a whole lot of humor and an eye to the absurdities of poltics and politicans, Oleg Atbashian brings the news and views from The People's Cube to the Communities and you.

Born and raised in Ukraine, Oleg Atbashian has been a teacher, translator, construction worker, satirical journalist, and at one time a propaganda artist, creating visual agitprop for the local Party committee in Siberia. In 1994, he moved to the US with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, and whose citizens were appreciative of constitutional rights and capitalist prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. He started writing satire again, this time in English, publishing a large number of essays, political parodies, and cartoons, in various media in America and around the world.

In 2005 Oleg Atbashian started, a forum-based spoof of "progressive" ideology with a loyal conservative/libertarian following, which he runs under the name of "Comrade Red Square, People's Director, Department of Visual Agitation and Unanimity." Rush Limbaugh described it on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion." The site contains thousands of hilarious, original satires and graphics by contributors from all parts of the US and the English-speaking world.

Contact Oleg Atbashian


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