Open Letter to RNC Chairman Reince Priebus

The latest Republican appeal to “Save the RINOs” provokes an adequate response. Photo: The People's Cube

WASHINGTON, April 8, 2013 ― While “the Republican War on Women” was clearly a propagandistic trick on part of the Democrat strategists, this People’s Cube female contributor gives a spanking to the RNC Chairman Reince Priebus for something completely different:

By Karen Lingefelt

Dear Chairman Priebus,

I recently received the following e-mail. Except for the redacted addies, I have copied and pasted as is:

–— Original Message–—

From: Reince Priebus [mailto:xxx]
To: xxx
Sent: Sat, 6 Apr 2013 09:12:09 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Oh no, not again

Dear Laura,

The President is back on the campaign trail, this time for his friends at the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. President Obama is determined to regain a Democratic majority in the House. He made his agenda clear at a fundraiser in San Francisco when he said this of Nancy Pelosi:

“She has been an extraordinary friend of mine.” he said, according to a pool report. “…and I expect that she’s going to be once again the Speaker of the House.”

We cannot afford to sit by while the President courts billionaires across the country so that he can surround himself with liberal legislators. Sign the petition and tell Obama it’s time to stop campaigning and get to work!

Reince Priebus
Chairman, Republican National Committee

–––––––––

I don’t even know where to begin to tell you what’s wrong with this latest appeal to “Save the RINOs!” but I’m going to try anyway.

First, your subject line. Oddly enough, “Oh no, not again,” is exactly what I always say everytime I see one of your “Have Stupidity, Two Presidential Election Losses, Please Help” pleas in my inbox.

Even odder still, it’s about the dumbest subject line you could use for an e-mail that despite the not-so-juicy tidbit of gossip and link to yet another useless petition, will ultimately send me to a page asking me to click on whatever amount of money you think I might deign to send you today.

Second, my name is not Laura. It’s not even close to Laura. The fact that I generally don’t want panhandlers to know who I really am in any case is entirely beside the point.

Third, Obama is STILL on the campaign trail, not back on it. He never got off it, except, perhaps, to go golfing. His agenda has long been quite clear to those of us who have been paying attention.

Either way, he isn’t going to read your petition, let alone respond to it. There’s nothing in it about White House beer recipes or a Death Star. Those are the kind of issues that command his much-vaunted laser-like focus.

Fourth, why should I send you money when some borderline genius in your outfit recently offered one million to Lady Gaga to do heaven only knows what at the next RNC? How do I know you’re not going to blow my donation on trying to book Honey Boo-Boo, or Doggie Doo-Doo, or TiTi CaCa to class up your next convention?

It’s bad enough the GOP establishment has this mindset that they have to be more like Democrats to win — in which case, if I’m going to vote for a candidate because he’s more like a Democrat, then why not just vote for a Democrat? (It’s like that old Toyota Camry commercial.)

But do you have to treat us as if you think we should be more like the low information Democrat voters? Why don’t we all just become Democrats and embrace that one-party system that has always worked gangbusters elsewhere?

You may still be the Party of Stupid, but I will not be the Patroness of Stupid. 

Sincerely,

Person You Think Is Named Laura


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Oleg Atbashian

With a whole lot of humor and an eye to the absurdities of poltics and politicans, Oleg Atbashian brings the news and views from The People's Cube to the Communities and you.

Born and raised in Ukraine, Oleg Atbashian has been a teacher, translator, construction worker, satirical journalist, and at one time a propaganda artist, creating visual agitprop for the local Party committee in Siberia. In 1994, he moved to the US with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, and whose citizens were appreciative of constitutional rights and capitalist prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. He started writing satire again, this time in English, publishing a large number of essays, political parodies, and cartoons, in various media in America and around the world.

In 2005 Oleg Atbashian started ThePeoplesCube.com, a forum-based spoof of "progressive" ideology with a loyal conservative/libertarian following, which he runs under the name of "Comrade Red Square, People's Director, Department of Visual Agitation and Unanimity." Rush Limbaugh described it on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion." The site contains thousands of hilarious, original satires and graphics by contributors from all parts of the US and the English-speaking world.

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