October Revolution in America: this time we can make it work!

On the 95th anniversary of the Russian socialist revolution, Americans celebrate re-election of their own openly socialist president.

WASHINGTON, November 7, 2012 – Today is the glorious 95th anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia, celebrated by the masses of the world with spontaneous marching in goose-stepping columns as they share their rations of potatoes and beet vodka.

It is symbolic that on this day American workers, peasants, and the toiling unwashed intelligentsia also celebrate the re-election of their first openly socialist president, hoping he will soon abolish the capitalist oppression of gainful employment and replace it with equal rations of beets and potatoes.

We salute the entitled voting masses who stormed the polling places to bring the revolution to America.

They stood on the shoulders of the martyrs of Benghazi and Bush-engineered terrorist attacks, victims of the right-wing media smear machine, as well as Luddites, Harmonites, Hippies, Black Panthers, Weather Underground, Cloward and Piven, progressive media, and all those who worked tirelessly on taking the few remaining working factories away from the greedy stockholders and giving them to the selfless Labor Unions.

This time, I’m sure, we can make it work!

On this day in 1917 the downtrodden masses in Russia also shaped their history and at a single stroke abolished the rule of capital, private property, markets, supply and demand, thermodynamics, gravity, and other laws governing the unfair and reactionary Universe.

Unfortunately, the envisioned fundamental transformation failed to come about in a single isolated country, because the rest of the world continued to be ruled by the bourgeois classes who deploy reactionary laws of economics, physics, chemistry, and biology to oppress the suffering populations. Their malicious enforcement of the second law of thermodynamics resulted in an untimely entropy of the isolated socialist system.

In addition, the United States and its capitalist allies continuously sent spies, saboteurs, and subversive agents to tamper with the happy dictatorship of the proletariat.

The sheer volume of these spies was such that the People’s KGB didn’t have time to catch and interrogate them all. Eventually, the hard-working Commissars found themselves saving the Workers’ Paradise by summarily shooting all suspects in the head and sending about 20 million of them to hard labor camps.

Trying to catch up with the overwhelming enemy infiltration, the KGB expanded its domestic and foreign intelligence operations to gloriously unparalleled proportions. That didn’t help either, as it also became infiltrated by enemies who were eventually shot in the head or sent to their death in hard labor camps.

But now, as the world is being taken over by socialist parties and the last bulwark of capitalism, the United States, has fallen into the hands of the People’s World Government, the entropy of isolation is not going to happen.

The entropy itself is going to be outlawed globally, in the process of gradual revision and sequestration of all unfair laws that previously oppressed the struggling masses.

The Party welcomes your comments and suggestions on the following issues:

    - How better to improve the lives of the downtrodden by changing the rules of living.
    - How to deal with the recalcitrant enemies of the people and where to find them.
    - Desired features and options for a new genetically engineered human being who would be fit to live in the Glorious New World of This Tuesday (the program to be financed by the next stimulus package).

FORWARD, COMRADES!

 

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At The People’s Cube, we do NOT equate all “liberals” with communists. The purpose of this website is to pick up “liberal” hitchhikers and give them a ride to the communist wonderland - the inevitable end result of their “well-meaning” policies.


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Oleg Atbashian

With a whole lot of humor and an eye to the absurdities of poltics and politicans, Oleg Atbashian brings the news and views from The People's Cube to the Communities and you.

Born and raised in Ukraine, Oleg Atbashian has been a teacher, translator, construction worker, satirical journalist, and at one time a propaganda artist, creating visual agitprop for the local Party committee in Siberia. In 1994, he moved to the US with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, and whose citizens were appreciative of constitutional rights and capitalist prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. He started writing satire again, this time in English, publishing a large number of essays, political parodies, and cartoons, in various media in America and around the world.

In 2005 Oleg Atbashian started ThePeoplesCube.com, a forum-based spoof of "progressive" ideology with a loyal conservative/libertarian following, which he runs under the name of "Comrade Red Square, People's Director, Department of Visual Agitation and Unanimity." Rush Limbaugh described it on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion." The site contains thousands of hilarious, original satires and graphics by contributors from all parts of the US and the English-speaking world.

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