Sex Offender Weiner: Not in my neighborhood

If Anthony Weiner were a horse he’d be gelded Photo: wikimedia

NEW YORK, July 24, 2013 — If Anthony Weiner were a horse he’d be gelded. That is what they do to sex crazed colts.

So Dads – suppose your daughter came home one day and said she met this awesome  boy. Only trouble is, he can’t keep his pants on. He has a slight habit of exposing his private parts all over the Internet. He posts naked pictures of himself and using lewd texts, invites women to join him for phone sex and other forms of whoopee.

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He prowls social media to make erotic connections. He says so himself. “I did it with multiple people.”

Men who flash and unzip themselves in public are generally reported and arrested. This is the same thing.

Anthony Weiner is not ashamed to admit that he is a pervert. Or maybe he is ashamed but keeps doing it even after he says he will never do it again.

Can’t help himself. He concedes, “Some of these things happened before my resignation [from Congress.) “Some of this happened after.”

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Other than that, he really is a wonderful boy and terrifically ambitious.

So Dad, what do you do? A) You say, “Nobody’s perfect. Sure, Daughter, I would love you to date this wonderful boy.” B) You say, “Over my dead body!”

How about C) “Not with my daughter you don’t!”

Suppose this awesome boy, Anthony Weiner, or someone with a record of sexual perversion equal to Anthony Weiner’s, were to show up at your doorstep regardless. What do you do? A) You invite him in and tell him he can stay out and romp with your daughter as long as he wants? B) You do not blow your top. Calmly, you invite him in, tell him to wait… as you dial 911 to reach your local sex crimes unit to have him arrested on the spot.  

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Moms – you daughter comes home late and says, “Me and some friends, like, we met this cool guy. Nothing happened, not really. His name is Anthony Weiner.” Knowing what you know about Anthony Weiner, what do you do? A) You say, “OMG! That is so cool. I hope you had fun.” B) You send her to her room. After that, you contact the New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services.

This leads you to the New York State Sex Offender Registry, which tells you that there are three levels of sex offenders. Level 1 is low risk. Level 2 is medium risk. Level 3 is high risk. Okay, since you know this man’s record, you must decide what level fits Anthony Weiner.

Since it was your daughter, you figure number 3, high risk. The Registry has given you a phone number. You dial, based not on accusation, but on assumption.

How do we know people we have never met? By reputation. In horse racing we chart horses through past performance. Same goes with people.

You and your husband check further and find that sex offenders must release information about themselves “to entities with vulnerable populations.”

Like, say, New York.

Onward, you find out that level 1 offenders are required to register for a minimum of 20 years. Level 2 and level 3 offenders are required to register for life.

Therefore, given his record of public lewdness, self-admitted by the way, you inquire as to whether Anthony Weiner registered.

Yes he did – but as a Democrat running for mayor.

More than that, he leads in the polls.

New York – are you out of your minds! 

New from Jack Engelhard, the novel: Compulsive


Jack Engelhard, a novelist for such moral dilemma bestsellers as The Bathsheba Deadline, The Girls of Cincinnati, and the classic Indecent Proposal, his memoir Escape From Mount Moriah, and Slot Attendant – A Novel About A Novelist, Engelhard’s partly autobiographical expose about the trials of making it as a writer, brings his words to the Communities page covering all topics, with special focus on the absurdity of human behavior and reaches around the globe.

Read more Jack Engelhard, A Novelist’s View of the World

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Jack Engelhard

Jack Engelhard enjoys international fame as a novelist for such moral dilemma bestsellers as The Bathsheba Deadline, The Girls of Cincinnati, and the classic Indecent Proposal, which was turned into film starring Robert Redford and Demi Moore. His memoir Escape From Mount Moriah has been acclaimed for excellence and a movie version was an official selection at CANNES. Slot Attendant – A Novel About A Novelist is Engelhard’s partly autobiographical expose about the trials of making it as a writer. Engelhard’s journalism covers all topics, with special focus on  the absurdity of human behavior, and reaches around the globe. He can be contacted at


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