NFL Draft: Lacy, Smith, Te'o humbled; Barkley, Nassib humiliated

The 2013 NFL Draft was humbling for Eddie Lacy, Manti Te'o and Geno Smith, and humiliating for Matt Barkley and Ryan Nassib. Photo: Seattle Seahawk fan shows pride in his team at NFL Draft AP photo

LOS ANGELES, April 27, 2013—With Round 1 of the 2013 NFL Draft in the books, Friday evening brought the second and third rounds. The NFL Draft is one of the only television events where the longer it goes on, the higher the intensity level for the true believers. Many NFL fans do not watch the Draft. Many who do only stay for the first few picks of the opening rounds. Others last until their own team makes their first round selection.

So Day 2 is for those who are intense fans of the selection process. As for the third day when rounds three through seven are chosen, those who stay until the end inside Radio City Music Hall get an automatic free admission to the following year’s draft. This is the NFL’s way of rewarding the most loyal fans.

Round 2 began with the Jacksonville Jaguars on the clock. The entire second round is available for viewing, but things got heated after the Bengals made their pick with the 37th overall selection. They received that pick from the Raiders, completing the final pick resulting from the Carson Palmer trade. Palmer is no longer on either team.

For the first time since 1963, there were no running backs taken in the first round. The only one even considered for the first round was Alabama’s Eddie Lacy. So naturally the Bengals took the first running back of the Draft, and it was Giovani Bernard.

With the 38th overall pick, the San Diego Chargers picked inside linebacker Manti Te’o. His mental state has been questioned due to his multi-year “relationship” with an imaginary girlfriend. Yet this hurt him less than a poor performance in the BCS Title Game. He will travel to the Black Hole every year, and the Raider Nation will most certainly have creative signs to welcome him to the NFL.

The 39th pick finally saw quarterback Geno Smith taken off the board. This means the Jets will continue to be a circus since Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez are still on the roster. While Geno Smith has never “butt-fumbled,” he still has some skeptics to silence. Mark Sanchez is dating Eva Longoria, which could explain his lack of focus on anything else in life, much less something as complex as football. Smith spoke about the Jets going to the playoffs, making sure the team would remain hated throughout the league and dysfunctional in the locker room.

With the 42nd pick Reggie McKenzie got his wedge of beef for the Oakland Raiders. Offensive tackle Melenik Watson is a 6 ft 5, 310 pound behemoth. He will be protecting a quarterback, because that is what offensive linemen do. Nobody knows who that signal caller is yet, with Matt Flynn and Terrell Pryor both competing for the job.

The Buccaneers with the 43rd pick took cornerback Jonathan Banks, who will fill the void in Greg Schiano’s defense that was created when Aqib Talib was traded over one year ago.

For 15 years the Miami Dolphins had a defensive standout at the outside linebacker and end position named Jason Taylor. He retired one year ago, and now his non-relative Jamar Taylor is the new cornerback for the Fins.

The 56th pick had the Super Bowl champion Ravens looking to rebuild their defense with the retirement of Ray Lewis and the departure of Ed Reed. Ozzie Newsome is the best General Manager in the business, and he went with inside linebacker Arthur Brown.

With the 59th selection, the Patriots compensated for the loss of Wes Welker. They had already brought in Danny Amendola, and now have a 6 ft 3, 210 pound wide receiver named Aaron Dobson. Tom Brady has a new big threat for the deep ball, which he has not had since Randy Moss.

Eddie Lacy had a rough second day. After missing the first round, he saw three running backs chosen ahead of him in the second round. He was finally taken with the 61st pick by the Green Bay Packers. Mike McCarthy runs the West Coast Offense, which means no running game whatsoever.

The Packers won it all a couple years ago by having Aaron Rodgers throw over forty times in the Super Bowl and running less than ten times. So much for the requirement of  a balanced offense. Lacy will be allowed to block and catch passes out of the backfield. Every once in awhile, he might even get to carry the ball. The minute 1st and 10 becomes 2nd and 9, that will stop.

The third round saw Reggie McKenzie again stay in the trenches. The 6th pick saw outside linebacker Slo Moore become the newest member of the Silver and Black. The Raider Nation hopes that Slo(w) is his name and not indicative of his speed. Perhaps he is from Slovenia.

Josh Freeman had a tough year last year, which may be why Greg Schiano chose quarterback Mike Glennon with the 73rd pick.

Then 24 picks later, including two compensatory picks,  the third round had ended without any other quarterbacks being taken. This meant that as bad as things were for Manti Te’o and Geno Smith, it was Matt Barkley and Ryan Nassib who were having the longest weekend. They both had delusional dreams of the first round, and now know the best they can hope for is the fourth round on the third and final day.

Rounds four through seven take place beginning Saturday morning. The auditorium will be mostly empty since the Jets and Giants fans are a large part of the audience, and they often leave after their first pick.

Now only the most devoted fans remain, as the 2013 NFL Draft ends Saturday afternoon with the final selection, Mr. Irrelevant.

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a columnist, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian who is obsessed with the National Football League. There is no offseason. Every February he pretends to care about other sports while sobbing uncontrollably each Sunday until September. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”  

Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS Eric Golub is an independent writer for the Communities. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.

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Eric Golub

Eric Golub is a politically conservative Jewish blogger, author, public speaker, and comedian. His book trilogy is “Ideological Bigotry,” “Ideological Violence,” and  “Ideological Idiocy.” 

He is Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and has lived in Los Angeles since 1990. He received his Bachelors degree from the University of Judaism, and his MBA from USC. A stockbrokerage professional since 1994, he began blogging on March 11th, 2007, the three year anniversary of the Madrid bombings and the midpoint of 9/11. He has been inflicting his world view on his unfortunate readers since then. He blogs about politics Monday through Friday, and about football and other human interest items on weekends.



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