WASHINGTON, December 24, 2012 – It’s the Maven’s birthday today, so happy birthday to moi. It would have been happier, though, if Congress and the President had actually done their jobs last week and started righting the government’s extensive list of wrongs. After an appropriate fusillade of good old-fashioned raspberries, we’d like to rename these lovable goofballs “The Gang that Couldn’t Shoot Straight,” which they certainly are. But given recent events, that would likely prove an unfortunate analogy. So perhaps we’ll start referring to them as “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire,’ or better yet “The Fools On the Hill” and leave it at that; even though neither of these terms includes the President, who is consistently wrong but who is therefore always consistent. Plus, he’s already in Hawaii anyway, busily humming that catchy tune “Mele Kalikimaka” while enjoying the kind of perfect waves one can never find in DC. Maybe there’s a lesson here. (See video below.)
Allegedly, all the lame ducks will return to town circa December 27 to achieve some kind of kick-the-can solution to the current fiscal mess, which will solve precisely nothing. On the other hand, they’ve been watching their role models in Europe do precisely the same thing and get away with it for nearly four years now, so why not do the same, particularly when you’re part of a government that strives, wholesale, to embrace that failed European model anyway. Not exactly the spirit of Aloha, as my Hawaiian friends and associates have often tried to explain to me—with limited success.
If you stop to think about it, these are very grim thoughts for today’s Birthday Boy, and right before Christmas, too. So let’s all resolve, at least for now, to temporarily abandon trashing our no-longer-representative Confederacy of Dunces Federal government and create a delightful holiday season for us. Maybe if we simply ignore these clowns, they’ll cease to be relevant, if indeed they haven’t already caused that to happen themselves. Besides, the Federal government and the Euro-elites ignore important stuff all the time and nothing ever happens to them. There’s a lesson for us in there somewhere.
For our part, both the Maven and Mrs. Maven are going to put on that old, classic Bing Crosby Christmas album/CD/MP3 or whatever, along with some also classic Mannheim Steamroller Christmas CDs and maybe one or two big choral disks, probably featuring the unexcelled Mormon Tabernacle Choir as recorded in their own acoustically perfect space way out West in Happy Valley, Utah.
Then, after enjoying a sumptuous repast centered on a generous slices from a baked, 99-cents per pound Safeway ham, we’ll curl up by the fire out in our under-perpetual-renovation place in West Virginia where all our neighbors own guns and know what you use them for. We’ll pour a wee dram or three of single malt Scotch and enjoy the peace and quiet of a winter’s night in God’s country.
This will likely prove to be such a pleasant interlude that we may not return to this column until January 2. Which is not a big deal considering that the holiday trajectory this year eliminates two trading days over the next two weeks, plus cutting Christmas Eve (today) and New Years’ Eve to half-day trading days. Ergo, nobody at all will actually be trading except those indefatigable HFT machines, which themselves won’t know what to do without frantic new bulletins hitting the wires from Washington.
So why don’t you join us in taking a well-deserved Long Winters’ (Investing) Nap through next January1, 2013? Things will likely perk up after that in ways as yet unknown.
Meanwhile, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Initial photo credit: www.girlcooksworld.com
Read more of Terry’s news and reviews at Curtain Up! in the Entertain Us neighborhood of the Washington Times Communities. For Terry’s investing and political insights, visit his Communities columns, The Prudent Man and Morning Market Maven, in Business.
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