President Obama and the Kindergarten Kids

The White House children were sent to meet the press and defend the president. Photo: AP

CHICAGO, May 20, 2013 — “Help Cecil, Help!” “I’m a-comin’, Beany-boy!” ― Beany and Cecil, created by Bob Clampett (Warner Brothers)

Today’s word is “irrelevant.” The news media have their marching orders from the White House Office of Propaganda. The scandals are irrelevant, the law is irrelevant, who in the administration does what is irrelevant. The news children better use that word and over again or else they will get a time out and no milk and cookies.

Irrelevant: adj. Unrelated to the matter being considered. Synonyms: extraneous, immaterial, impertinent. Antonyms: Relevant, important. (The American Heritage Dictionary)

Where does President Obama find children to be his spokespeople? Is there some Ivy League kindergarten or day care center he recruits from? First, we had the playground clown and buffoon, Robert Gibbs. Now there is Jay Carney, also known as Beany. Along comes Dan Pfeiffer, also known as Cecil, to save Beany. Pfeiffer hit the Sunday morning entertainment news shows to defend the plague of scandals surrounding this administration. His favorite and oft repeated word was “irrelevant.” He wanted to make sure the media knew what to say on Monday.

In relation to the IRS scandal, Pfeiffer/Cecil stated, “Look, I can’t speak to the law here.” The law is irrelevant. The activity was outrageous and inexcusable.” The law is irrelevant? Since when? The United States is a nation of laws. Laws govern conduct, especially outrageous and inexcusable conduct.

How about this chestnut: “What would be an actual real scandal in Washington would be if the president had been involved or had interfered in an IRS investigation.” Evidently the White House determines the definition of “scandal.” A scandal is only a scandal if the president is directly involved. Otherwise there is no scandal. Get it?

SEE RELATED: IRS scandal reveals Obama’s fake accountability

Then there is this: “You’re right, that is an absolute tragedy what happened. And the question isn’t who edited what talking points. That is largely irrelevant. What is relevant is to make sure that never happens again which is why the president is calling on Congress to pass legislation to beef up embassy security around the world and protect our diplomats.” It is the responsibility of the Secretary of State to provide and beef up security at embassies, not Congress. Benghazi was not an embassy, it was a consulate. But, those are just semantics. Semantics are irrelevant when human lives are lost due to incompetence at the highest levels.

Pfeiffer/Cecil also made the astounding claim that where the president was during the Benghazi crisis was irrelevant. He also found any questions about Benghazi “offensive.” He did not stop there. He went on to claim that Susan Rice was owed an apology for the battering she took over her explanations of Benghazi.

Bob Schieffer of CBS had the absolute best question of the day, after Pfeiffer tried to force the talking points down his throat. “Why are you here today?” A better question would have been, “Do your mommy and daddy know where you are today?”

Again, where does the White House find these children? Only children can come up with these lame excuses. Maybe they find them the same places the news media finds many of its reporters ― the same reporters who cut and paste this jabberwocky to defend and protect the President.

SEE RELATED: Benghazi scandal is an affront to the American military ethos

Look, the American people are not very bright. They may be educated, but education has nothing to do with innate intelligence. If you need proof of their dimness, just look who they vote for and reelect to office. Case closed. But, the American people are not totally stupid. If any of them were watching these entertaining performances, their B.S. detectors were probably blaring like air raid sirens. They would not accept these silly excuses from their own children, let alone the children working in the White House.

When is this president once and for all going to grow up, put his big boy pants on, take full and total responsibility for the actions of his underlings? When is he going to be accountable? When is he going to stop blaming others? That blame game is getting lame.

When is he going to stop sending little children out to spin unbelievable tales and fantasies of what may or may not happened?

First it was “What difference does it make?” Then, “It happened a long time ago.” Now, it is “irrelevant.” Tomorrow you will hear all the little boys and girls in the news media say something like this: “In relation to the alleged scandals surrounding the president, they happened a long time ago, what difference does it make now, they are irrelevant. We should move on and go forward from here.”

The real scandal in Washington is the irresponsibility of this administration, the total lack of accountability, transparency, and the administration’s blasé apathetic attitude toward malpractice, malfeasance, corruption, and ineptitude. Instead of heads rolling fairy tales are spun.  When hard questions are asked, the questioners are deemed offensive and abusive.

What is offensive and abusive is the attitude that the administration can do whatever it wants, say whatever it wants, and get away with it. What is more offensive and abusive is the media letting them get away with it. Blaming the scandals on the Republicans does not pass the smell test. It does not even pass the stench test. The Republicans do not control the executive branch of the government. Neither do the Democrats. The president alone controls the executive branch. He and he alone is responsible and accountable for the actions of the Department of State, IRS, Department of Justice, and the kindergarten spin meisters. Only a dyed in the wool Obama cultist would believe the SODDI defense- “Some other dude did it.” There are quite a few out there, many in the news media.

The White House spin machine is starting to sound like the Onion. They are incredibly funny. Maybe that is where Carney/Beany and his travelling carnival troupe should apply for jobs when they leave the administration. They are well suited. Since the Onion is satire and comedy, the truth is irrelevant. Carney/Beany and company would fit right in.

One other thing. Illinois Senator Dick Durbin blasted the IRS over its investigation of conservative groups. He should have looked through his past statements before flapping his soup coolers. He strongly advocated that the IRS investigate conservative groups when they formed Super PACs and 527s after the Citizens United Ruling. One could wonder if Dick Durbin can spell h-y-p-o-c-r-i-s-y. But he is from Illinois, a state that breeds inept ignorant political poltroons, macaroons, and mamalukes.

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Peter Bella

Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance photographer, freelance writer, budding videographer, and passionate cook.  He aims to be the sharp stick that pokes and annoys.  The Middle Class Guy is a political column written from a center-right point of view.  While concentrating mainly on politics he will stray into culture, entertainment, sports, cooking, and humor from time to time, along with Memories of things Pabst.  All from a middle class perspective.

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