Santa Claus socially sanitized

It is not bad enough there is a war on Christmas. Now Santa is to be made socially acceptable. Photo: Screenshot/dallas.com

“In this updated edition select lines have quietly slipped from the pages. Here at the North Pole we decided to leave all of that old tired business of smoking well behind us and I am pleased to report that we have never been healthier or happier.

The reindeer asked that I confirm the fact that I have only ever worn fake fur out of respect for the endangered species that are in need of our protection, including my dear friends those arctic polar bears.” (Pamela McColl/dallasnews.com)

CHICAGO, October 15, 2012— It is fall and the war against Christmas has begun. Socially conscious people are rewriting, revising, or erasing history, tradition, legend, and myth. 

Pamela McColl is a Canadian smoking cessation activist. She is trying to ban smoking in all media forms including movies. She is also an anti-fur activist. 

Ms. McColl spent $250 thousand dollars of her own money to publish 55 thousand copies of her version of the iconic tale, “The Night Before Christmas”. She eliminated the picture of Santa Claus smoking his pipe and cut out the verse, “The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.” 

Instead of the classic artwork, Santa looks like a comic child cartoon. She also added the above letter from Jolly Olde Saint Nick to assure the kiddies that Santa has always worn fake fur, even though it did not exist at the time the poem was written. 

It is surprising she did not eliminate the “sugar plums dancing in their heads” to help eliminate the so-called child obesity problem. 

The poem is a worldwide institution and it is traditional to read it on Christmas Eve. Tradition is being shattered to salve the social conscience of Ms. McColl and her like mindless zombies. These people are the new book burners and banners. Since they cannot legally ban or burn literature they will revise it. They are like those who revise history to reflect the voices in their head. 

Next they will insist that Santa does not come down chimneys because it is dangerous. Then, of course, the reindeer will be eliminated because they demonstrate animal cruelty and servitude. Last they will eliminate Santa Claus delivering gifts on Christmas because Christmas does not exist. The “holiday” does not demand the exchange of gifts. Gifting is just evil consumerism run amok. 

Why not just ban Santa Claus? It would be so much easier and conscience salving. We should eliminate Christmas trees too. They just demonstrate the horrendous deforestation that has led to so-called man made global warming. 

“Little Black Sambo” was a children’s classic until the social conscience revisionists decided it was offensive to people of color. There were calls to change Mark Twain’s character to “Jim”, instead of “N-word Jim”. The term “Christmas” itself is just about banned.

“Holiday” is the preferred term so tender sensibilities will not be offended. 

Maybe one of these knuckleheads will take on the task of rewriting the Bible. The story of creation can be told with full scientific correctness and all references to God or any other spiritual beings will be deleted. Various miracles, plagues, and pestilence in both testaments can have complete scientific explanations. The New Testament can show Jesus as merely a revolutionary historical figure who rebelled against the Romans and the Temple Jews who aided and abetted them. 

In their sensitive stupidity literary revisionists ignore the most important aspect in their quest for political and social correctness and preservation of tender sensitivities. They forget that art, literature, media, etcetera is a window to the historical, social, and anthropological perspective of the time and place of the works creation. 

These people are like the Soviets, who erased whole eras of Russian history, art, literature, religion, and personages in the name of political and social purity. 

It is hoped that no one buys one of Ms. McColl’s books. That would be a very expensive lesson for her to learn. Unfortunately there are too many people like her who believe it is better to burn, ban, and revise than it is to preserve art and tradition. 

It is amazing how many over educated, gullible, naive, and, unreasoning people there are in our world. If we continually allow the know nothings to keep getting away with their social and political correctness we will turn into a cultureless wad of people who all think alike. Then they will achieve their goal. No one will be thinking. 

Peter V. Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance journalist and photojournalist, cook, and raconteur.  He likes to be the irreverent sharp stick that pokes, prods, and annoys.  His opinions are his and his alone. Mr. Bella is a member of the National Press Photographers Association, Online News Association, Chicago Headline Club, and the Society for Professional Journalists. 

pvbella@gmail.com 

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Peter Bella

Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance photographer, freelance writer, budding videographer, and passionate cook.  He aims to be the sharp stick that pokes and annoys.  The Middle Class Guy is a political column written from a center-right point of view.  While concentrating mainly on politics he will stray into culture, entertainment, sports, cooking, and humor from time to time, along with Memories of things Pabst.  All from a middle class perspective.

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