Cannabis schools and higher education

Cannabis colleges offer everything you need to know to grow, dispense, and sell dope. Photo: Associated Press

CHICAGO, October 10, 2011- In a world where things could not get any stranger… The Cow Palace in San Francisco held a Cannabis Expo, including a medical marijuana job fair.

Cannajobs and the Cannabis Career Institute were represented.   

Cannajobs bills itself as a job source for the cannabis industry and an aide to those who want to enter this new exciting “Green” field.  They will get you started, get you fully certified, obtain your doctor recommendation, introduce you to the “players” in the field, and in effect help you to launch your very own medical marijuana business. 

They also offer third party legal and accounting services tailored to the marijuana industry. 

Through their partner, the Cannabis Career Institute, you can get educated and “take your project to the next level”.  They give their students all the information they need to “empower them to succeed in the world of cannabis”.  They are modeled on the famous Oaksterdam University, “the most successful school in the world”. 

CCI will even teach you how to start your own marijuana school. 

Yes, you, the individual toker and stoner can open up your very own marijuana school.  Just think, instead of smokin’, munchin’, and lolling on the couch all day, you can operate your very own Mary Jane School of Cannabis Arts and Sciences. 

With just a little education and some bucks you can be the dean of your own dope school.  How cool is that?  You can even hire professors of potology.   

Cannajobs also will help you get optimized. No, it does not mean they will get you higher.  They offer something called the Circle.  It is social networking for the marijuana industry.  You can create groups or participate in video conferencing and connect with others in this exciting and expanding field.

Cannajobs also has a jobs board where people can post openings or look for employment in the burgeoning and exciting field of Cannabis.  I didn’t see any jobs for product or taste testers. 

Oaksterdam University bills itself as the best all around trade school for the cannabis industry.  Their curriculum covers everything you need to know about marijuana, sales, dispensing, certifications, horticulture, cooking, and glass blowing. 

ACCTECH is the Academy of Cannabis Culture, and Technology.  They offer instruction in growing, cloning, cooking and concentration, law, and grow room construction.       

This gives a whole new meaning to higher education.

Maybe the next step is to offer the MMA, Masters in Marijuana Administration, a fully accredited M.D. program- Marijuana Doctor, or even a JJD- Joint Juris Doctorate. 

Who knew marijuana was such a burgeoning industry?  It is an illegal substance under federal law.  Yet, anyone can learn the ins and outs of the trade just by attending these universities and institutes.  You can learn to be a professional dope dealer.   

From a professional perspective I can teach anyone how to open up their own dope business.  Right here.  Right now.  For free.  Pay attention students.  It doesn’t take much.  There is a reason why they call it dope. 

You need real estate.  A street corner will do.  Once you start raking in the dough you can move up to abandoned buildings.   

You need product.  Easy to find in the urban jungle or states where so called medical marijuana is liberally sold.  You need tough looking sales staff.  Again, easy to find.  Juveniles are preferred as they rarely go to jail or prison.  You need security- guns.  This keeps away the competition. 

Legal services are a must.  A good lawyer will keep your people out of jail and get them back on the street in no time.  He can also get them reduced sentencing from sympathetic judges.   

Forget about accounting and all that stuff.  Just rake in the cash and hope one of your employees doesn’t eventually rat you out.  To the cops or the competition. 

Training employees is easy.  Just tell them to stand around and look stupid. 

A high crime area is preferred.  The cops are too busy running from call to call to be bothered with you.  Don’t worry customers from all walks of life will find you.  They do not care about the location.  It’s not called dope for nothing.  Who do you think uses it? 

Soon, you can be living the good life.  Hangin’ in the clubs, driving cool rides, dressing in the latest fashions, and being the man or woman about town.  Rap stars and rockers will fawn all over you.  Note, always take their money.  Never give the stuff away.  Don’t be a dope with your dope. 

Just one thing.  Never ever use your own product and don’t allow your employees to use the stuff.  It cuts into the profits.  Most people do not take this advice. 

That same reason they call it dope.

Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance writer, freelance photographer, and consultant.  He is a passionate cook and eater.  He likes to be the sharp stick that pokes, annoys, and provokes.  His opinions are his and his alone.   

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/#!/pvbella

Twitter- https://twitter.com/#!/pvbella

Website- http://petervbella.com

Email- pvbella@gmail.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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Peter Bella

Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance photographer, freelance writer, budding videographer, and passionate cook.  He aims to be the sharp stick that pokes and annoys.  The Middle Class Guy is a political column written from a center-right point of view.  While concentrating mainly on politics he will stray into culture, entertainment, sports, cooking, and humor from time to time, along with Memories of things Pabst.  All from a middle class perspective.

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