CHICAGO, November 19, 2011 ― This has been a week of turkeys. Not the tasty feathered kind you eat, but the kind that remind us just how dumb turkeys are.
Jon Corzine and 6-700 million dollars in MF Global funds are still missing. Since the bankruptcy of MF Global, neither hide nor hair of Corzine or the money have been seen. This is not to imply the missing money had anything to do with the disappearance of Mr. Corzine.
Our president, once again, went out of his way to bash America in front of foreign leaders. Now we are lazy. This from a guy who never held a real job in his life, that we know of. Is he ever going to say a good thing about the country he supposedly runs?
Joe Biden held a meeting of some kind of transparency commission, or council, or something transparent, behind closed doors. A statement will be issued to the grateful access-impaired journalists who didn’t attend if they do not complain about the lack of transparency.
Last week, for Veterans Day, Thanksgiving and Black Friday took center stage. This week and next, leading up to Thanksgiving, Christmas is taking center stage. Sources close to the managers of the Easter Bunny claim he will make a major comeback during the last week of December. He is even pushing his own signature line of Easter Bonnets to go on sale at finer stores near you. Just in time for Christmas.
Rick Perry and Herman Cain lost the gunfight at the I’m OK You’re OK Corral. Message to Cain and Perry: When going to a gunfight, you are supposed to shoot the other guy(s), not yourself. You especially are supposed to avoid shooting yourself in the foot.
Mitt Romney has flat lined and Newt Gingrich has spiked in the polls. This just goes to show that polls are a waste of time and pollsters are well-paid frauds.
Ron Paul and Michelle Bachmann are struggling for the soul of, well, ah, something or other in conservative politics. When they figure it out a grateful nation will be told.
Some major retailers have announced that Black Friday will start on Thanksgiving, which is on a Thursday. Don’t forget to set your calendar back.
Several major celebrities, singers, and rap moguls who are among the 1% and the 0.01% are getting together for a major concert effort to raise money for the OWS movement. It will be called “BandAid for Owies”.
The Tea Party is having a symposium on Saul Alinsky soon. They are hoping to find some one, anyone, who has actually read Mr. Alinsky’s works and can explain them thoroughly. The OWS movement is also looking for someone who has read Alinsky and can hold an open mic teach-in with finger wiggling. Unfortunately, like Mr. Alinsky, those who have read him and are his disciples hold both those groups in disdain.
Then we have the Penn State diddle dawdle scandal. Young boys were diddled and Penn State dawdled.
The Fast and Furious scandal was in the news, and in a typical fast and furious manner, it was out of the news just as fast.
Solydra is another scandal heating up with the efficiency of solar power on a cloudy day.
It appears, aside from all the posturing, no one is really serious about scandals. Hey, just because some agents died and a half billion dollars of tax payer money went up in smoke is no reason to take anything seriously. Democrats and Republicans have important things to work on in bipartisan fashion. They are scratching each others backs to get as much pork passed as possible before the people catch on.
We really need more pigeon dropping receptacles and dog urinals in public squares.
The European Union has banned any and all claims that drinking water can prevent dehydration. According to their own three year scientific investigation, water has no hydrating properties. Dehydration, reduced water content in the body, is not something that drinking water can control or relieve. They are imposing a two year prison sentence for anyone defying the ban.
Janet Napolitano did not say anything stupid this week. The TSA is not accused of gross stupidity this week. The Department of Homeland Security did not issue any egregious stupid new rules or press releases. Something is wrong and needs investigating.
The Progressives are still willing to allow major cuts in spending as long as taxes are raised. They still can’t explain why it is important to raise taxes if spending cuts reduce the need for more money. Typical. They never seem to be able to explain anything.
And, lastly, we will not have to hear or hear about Regis Philbin anymore. After almost three decades of bumblig, bobbling buffoonery in the early morning, he is finally retiring. Almost three decades too late.
Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance writer, freelance photographer, and consultant. He is a passionate cook and eater. He likes to be the sharp stick that pokes, annoys, and provokes. His opinions are his and his alone.
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