Presidential dreams of speeches to come

In a world where dreams are shattered Obama gives the speech of his career and wakes up to reality.

CHICAGO, August 21, 2011—Peer into the White House, private quarters as President Obama dreams of the speech yet to give… 

“My fellow Americans, as President of the United States, I am the last man standing in the ongoing economic crisis.  We stand on the precipice of economic disaster.  Me, myself, and I, stand alone against forces of evil who would destroy our country.  I saved the economy the enemies of the state destroyed.  Those billionaires and millionaires; folks making over two hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. 

The greedy bankers, the Wall Street beast, those horrid hedge funds, the criminal profit corporations, and the high flying con artist entrepreneurs and businessmen.   

Congress, especially the Republican carnival barkers and the circus clowns, represent the people who stole your jobs and your future.  If they could, they would steal your dreams too.  They don’t care about America.  They have no love for this country.  They have the unmitigated gall to put party before country.  

They do not represent you.   I do.  I am on your side.  I know you are suffering.  I feel your pain everyday.  I hear your stories.  I am writing a new book.  “Stories of the Dreams of My Audacity of Hope”.  You will be heard.  Jenny, in Altoona, Paul, in Cairo, Marianne, in Ames, Wanda, in Waterloo.  All of you. 

People want jobs.  Private industry does not create jobs.  That’s a fallacy.  Don’t believe what those corporate published history books tell you.  Only your government creates jobs.  Look, all you have to do is call any government agency.  They will tell you that.  I ordered them to.   

If it wasn’t for your government there would be no private industry.  If it wasn’t for your government there would be no middle class.  There would be no working families; families who I deeply care about.  Government is the economic engine that made America great. 

The Republicans built a wall around the government economy.  They put a moat around the wall.  They put alligators in the moat.  They put a dragon behind the wall.  They have made it impossible for me to attack our problems.  Me, the leader of what is left of the free world.  

We need to borrow more money to spend.  We need to tax you more to spend more money to help the economy create jobs to generate revenues to cut spending.  This is just common sense.  Look, private sector growth and profits do not create jobs.  Government growth does.   

I want big, bold, historic, comprehensive solutions.  This is who I am.  Big, bold, comprehensive, and historic.  America can afford it.  We are not some banana republic.   

America is not broke.  We are a rich country.  We can and should raise taxes and print more money to get out of the mess that Bush, the Republicans, the banks, Wall Street, and those billionaires made. How much money do you really need?  When is enough enough?  We are in this together.  All of us.     

I won the election.  They lost.  I am the only one standing up for the American people.  The American way is spending, taxing, and borrowing.  It is time for us to be adults and eat our peas.  With forks and knives.  It’s time for all of us to take the haircut.  In a barber shop.  We all must sacrifice so the government can give you what you need.   

This isn’t Never Never Land.  It’s America.  

We owe it to the world to go deeper into debt and spend more money, even if we don’t have it.  I have apologized for our country’s greatness to the rest of the world many times.  Now is the time we prove it.  It’s time for action.  It’s time for every American to share the pain, suffering, and sacrifice needed to save our nation and the world.   

I saved this country from a second Great Depression.  I did nothing less than save the whole free world from economic Armageddon.  Now we have problems.  I will solve them with your help.   

So, I stand before you today.  Alone.  I am asking the Republicans to act now before it is too late.  They built that wall with the moat, alligators, and the dragon.  I am asking the Congress to put your country before their party.  Do the right thing.   

Mr. Boehner, tear down that wall.   

The American people demand it.  Tear down that wall.  Stop bringing Jim Crow back to America.  Tear down that wall.  Raise taxes. Raise the deficit.  Raise the debt.  Let’s get government spending again to create jobs.  Tear down that wall.  

America is not an exceptional country.  I have said so many times to world leaders.  They all agree.  In order to prove this we must go deeper into debt and raise spending, especially entitlements, to be on par with the rest of the enlightened world.   

Americans want more taxes.  They want more spending.  They want more debt.  If not now, when?

The whole world is watching Mr. Boehner.  The whole world is waiting.   

Mr. Boehner, tear- down- that- wall.

Thank you and Go, er, ah, good night….” 

“Barack, honey, wake up.  C’mon wake up.  WAKE UP.”  

“Huh? What?  Who am I bombing today?” 

“You have to walk Bo.”

“The dog?” 

“Remember, you had to fire the White House dog walkers in your grand compromise to cut spending.”


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Peter Bella

Peter Bella is a retired Chicago Police Officer, freelance photographer, freelance writer, budding videographer, and passionate cook.  He aims to be the sharp stick that pokes and annoys.  The Middle Class Guy is a political column written from a center-right point of view.  While concentrating mainly on politics he will stray into culture, entertainment, sports, cooking, and humor from time to time, along with Memories of things Pabst.  All from a middle class perspective.

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