DELRAY BEACH, Fla., December 12, 2011 — From Internet dating sites to dropping a pickup line at a local coffee shop, meeting someone that you mesh well with isn’t always easy, especially in the beginning. One of the most important ways to save yourself both confusion and drama is to set your intentions and know what you want. Ask yourself: What are my inner desires? What do I want in a relationship for myself and in partnership?
Dating is often referred to as a game, but how do you know when to be real and to play by the rules? The 1960s television show, “The Dating Game,” uncovered a bachelorette’s desires with a series of questions to help her choose her charmed prince. Even though human beings have evolved over centuries with knowledge and self discovery, the old “If you would describe yourself as an animal, what would you be?” probably isn’t going to cut it. There now needs to be a deeper understanding of yourself, as you are, both in and out of a relationship.
Two cases in point:
“I went on a first date with this charming British man who wined and dined me in the City. We ended the night with a few passionate kisses that left me wanting for more. He said he couldn’t wait to see me again. We exchanged text messages two days later, expressing how much fun we had…and that was it. He hasn’t responded since. I don’t get it. Do I text him again?” Maria, New York City, massage therapist, 35.
Now from a guy: “There was this girl who I was dating for about five months. There was so much sexual energy that I just went with it and opened up! I just felt so close to her. I keep things casual and cool. We texted a lot and saw each other about twice a week. I wanted to take things slow and easy. I thought things were going really well. One day she said that she was traveling for work and would call me when she got back into town. I thought nothing of it and wished her a safe trip. A week later, I bumped into her; she was holding hands with another man. I guess business went well for her.” Jonathan: Miami, Graphic Designer, 34.
The ideal romance
How could they have avoided such disappointment? The following questions can help uncover the truths behind what you really want out of a relationship. Write them down and evaluate your list weekly:
1.WHO? Understand who you are and how you relate to your desires. What makes me feel alive, passionate and brings me peace?
2.WHAT? Be aware of your intentions. What do I want out of this relationship for myself and for the partnership? What am I willing to compromise and let go of to find balance in the relationship?
3.WHEN? Be present. It all begins now, right now. Where am I in my life? Have I taken responsibility in fulfilling my purpose?
4.WHERE? Know your patterns and where you limit yourself. How can I be more in balance with myself to meet my partner?
5.WHY? Know the reasons why you’re seeking this relationship. Why do I want to be with this person?
6.HOW? Know how you communicate what you want. What kind of interaction would you believe would be “ideal” to express your intentions clearly? How would I conduct my self to get what I want and to share what I feel, openly and freely?
Knowing what you want is part of uncovering the many layers within yourself. Uncovering your own truths will help to reveal your essential needs and desires in finding your match.
The Game Plan: Be open with yourself. Know what you want. Live your purpose.
Robyn Linn is an internationally published writer, certified yoga instructor, healthy eating educator, spiritual advisor and singer. She has created a Mindful Body program to provide the skills for college-aged students, children and adults attain optimal well-being. Her intention: to inspire others to live with compassion and live to the fullest potential with a purpose. Find her at www.robynlinn.com.
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