WASHINGTON, October 10, 2013 — Americans should be grateful for the beneficence of our betters. Without the expert orders of experts, what a shambles they make of their everyday lives. Witness how well-run the Federal government is, and just imagine how much more one could benefit by silently sitting back and giving up all control. No more mental effort, no worries, no struggle; just Social Justice and bliss, all the time.
It is good that Progressive pundits of the Press gave up their duty to tell the truth. Who wants to know all that sordid detail, anyway? And how can commoners be expected to understand complex issues, much less make up their own minds, without the gentle guidance of Academe? Generations grown-up under Progressive indoctrination are ill-prepared for that task. Study after government-funded study proves it. Picture the perfection of an America that simply ceded all authority to those who know best. Why go to all the time and trouble to learn things? Common Core will make sure that America’s children never have to bother!
Thank the friendly, polite paramilitary-style police for constant surveillance that tracks every move. Don’t worry when profiled and pulled over for no reason; searched without warrant or probable cause. You never should have sported that anti-government bumper sticker in the first place. Get used to handcuffs, strip searches and blue gloves. It is for your protection. Be unconcerned about the all those government departments like Education and Fisheries ordering so much ammo it causes shortage; enough to shoot everyone in America dozens of times. They can be trusted with all that firepower. After all, they’ve never shot down innocent civilians before, not even by mistake. Bless the NSA for delving into the most intimate details of private communications. What good are old-fashioned civil rights, when it comes to protecting America from terrorists? Especially since most Americans are terrorists. Don’t you feel safer already?
It is hard to manage money. That is why the federal government hasn’t had a budget in years. Why try to balance income and expenses? Just hand over all income, and let the fair, impartial and efficient IRS decide how much you deserve to spend, and on what. Now that ACA is the law of the land, Americans need to accept that IRS will do that for them anyway. What peace of mind knowing one no longer needs to fret about making monetary choices!
Instead of robbing Peter to pay Paul when bills come due, Americans should let government do it for them. Heck, with so much of America’s debt already owned by foreign countries that love us, the Federal Reserve could ship ownership overseas. Perhaps they already have. What a wonderful world it would be without borders. Be happy that America’s borders are porous. Think about your own forbears who came here for a better life. It’s the same today, except for the great benefits. New undocumented workers only take jobs Americans won’t do. That’s why over 90 million Americans have voluntarily left the workforce. They are much happier on the dole. Who wouldn’t be?
Rejoice that America has almost shed itself of the unreasonable restrictions placed on government by the Constitution, that musty old piece of parchment. No one has bothered to follow it for generations, anyway. FDR, hallowed be his name, discarded as unimportant all but Four Freedoms: freedom of speech, of worship, from want and from fear (he made up the last two). Now, in order to simplify things in the New World Order, the first two are forfeit. That leaves want and fear, of which there is an abundant and growing supply, especially for any who might dare to oppose the great and powerful O.
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