If you think same-sex marriage won't affect your family, think again

People generally embrace the idea of both a father and a mother. Why does this standard vanish the moment same-sex marriage comes up? Photo: AP

SAN DIEGO, June 7, 2013 — One of the greatest challenges from proponents of same-sex marriage comes in the form of a question designed to garner affirmative response from conservative, liberal, and libertarian alike: “How exactly does it hurt your own marriage or your own family if two same-sex people get married?”

NOTE: This article is the second in a series intended to encourage respectful conversation. To read from the beginning, see Bob Siegel’s previous article, Same-sex marriage: Can one disagree without being viewed as hateful?

On its surface this is a fair question. Does another person’s marriage have any direct impact on your own? Of course not. But we are missing a much bigger point. As Americans, our lives, our marriages, and our families, do not exist in isolation. We are profoundly influenced by the direction of society as a whole.

As a pastor, I have counseled many lesbians and male homosexuals. I am quite sympathetic to their plight. I understand their desire to be married and happy like every one else.

SEE RELATED: The GOP struggles with same-sex marriage

At the same time, I would be lying if I said that gay marriage does not affect the rest of us. The truth is, there are many such effects. Here we deal with two of them.

The effect on your children

Your children may live in a stable, two parent, heterosexual home, but you are only one of many influences in your child’s life. Even without the legalization of same-sex marriage in various states, candid discussion of homosexuality in the public school system has already been part of a growing agenda.

Proposition 8 advocates warned that if gay marriage remained the law of the land, schools might be forced to talk approvingly about the subject in Sex Ed and other such classes.

SEE RELATED: Will legal same-sex marriage result in religious persecution?

Opponents of Prop 8 replied swiftly by painting conservatives as a group of paranoid fear mongers.

In a television ad, Jack O’Connell, the State Superintendent of Public Instruction, spoke with considerable passion: “Prop 8 has nothing to do with schools or kids. Our schools are not required to teach anything about marriage. And using kids to lie about that is shameful.”  (From a political ad, 2008 paid for by “No on 8, “Equality for All,” “Major Funding From No on 8,” and “Human Rights Campaign.”)

Of course, everything O’Connell said was technically true. Prop 8 did not have anything to do with schools, but people were understandably worried about a slippery slope.

Evidently we didn’t even need the slope. In 2011 a new California law launched a politically correct viewpoint of homosexuality. This rocket is fast on its way to school curriculum regardless of Prop 8’s future. Senate Bill 48 was signed into law by Governor Jerry Brown. While including some mandates that nobody should disagree with such as “a study of the role and contributions of Native Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Pacific Islanders, and European Americans,the law also insists that history teaching include “lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans.”

People will argue that the latest proposed law is not about marriage since its emphasis is merely on the contributions of gay people in history. But such hair splitting conveniently avoids the deeper concern — indoctrination regarding the same-sex lifestyle, period! 

We can assert that mentioning gay people in history does not automatically translate into approval of gay sex, but assuming naïve students would not pick up that interpretation is a stretch of the imagination. 

Their own trusted teacher is going out of the way to mention sexual orientations of people involved with positive historical events. No disclaimer is allowed. Nobody will hear a teacher add, “Although I personally do not believe homosexuality is appropriate behavior, this is still an interesting anecdote to study.” 

That kind of qualification is also taboo under the new SB48 which “prohibits instruction or school sponsored activities that reflect adversely upon persons because of their race or ethnicity, gender, religion, disability, nationality, and sexual orientation.”

Legalization of gay marriage will give this indoctrination agenda even more teeth. Do you still believe these developments will not affect your child directly?

The effect on other people’s children

For years we have admitted as a society that children are better off in a two-parent home. There are loving, single parents who have done a wonderful job, and there are unhealthy, dysfunctional two-parent families. But pointing out exceptions to the rule ignores the rule itself, which stares us directly in the face.

Ideally, children need a healthy father and a healthy mother. They need both, because men and women are different and each one has different things to offer in a child’s upbringing. We used to feel free to admit this rather obvious truth.

Unfortunately, the need to be accepted by friends in a politically correct world results in people shoving truth under a rug. The more children are raised by fathers and mothers together, the better we will all be as a society. You know that. I know that. Everybody knows that.

Many self-described liberals insist we need diversity of genders on the Supreme Court because women will “bring a different perspective” and yet, when these same people are asked about males and females together as role models for children, they suddenly switch gears.

Studies on ancient Rome and other cultures show that when the family breaks down, the entire country breaks down. But then, history always provides 20-20 hindsight.

With all due respect to those desiring same-sex companionship, forcing an affirmation from the entire country will have a rather large influence upon our joint future as Americans.

NOTE: Be sure to catch Bob Siegel’s next article, Same-sex marriage: The legal effect

Bob Siegel is a weekend radio talk show host on KCBQ and columnist. Bob sometimes selects reader’s comments and responds to them on his radio show. Readers are free to call in and challenge Bob’s response over the air. Details of his program can be found at www.bobsiegel.net.


This article is the copyrighted property of the writer and Communities @ WashingtonTimes.com. Written permission must be obtained before reprint in online or print media. REPRINTING TWTC CONTENT WITHOUT PERMISSION AND/OR PAYMENT IS THEFT AND PUNISHABLE BY LAW.

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Bob Siegel

A graduate of Denver Seminary and San Jose State University, Bob Siegel is a radio talk show host and popular guest speaker at churches and college campuses across the country, using a variety of media including, seminars, formal debates, outdoor open forums, and one man drama presentations.

In addition to his own weekly radio show (KCBQ 1170, San Diego) Bob has been a guest on many other programs, including The 700 Club, Washington Times Radio's Inside the Story, The Rick Amato Show, KUSI Television's Good Morning San Diego, and the world popular Jonathan Park radio drama series, for which Bob guest starred in two episodes and wrote one episode, The Clue From Ninevah.

Bob is a regular contributor for San Diego Newsroom and San Diego Rostra. Bob does a good deal of playwriting as well (14 plays & 5 collaborations), including the award winning, Eternal Reach.  Bob has also published two books;  A Call To Radical Discipleship, and I'd Like to Believe In Jesus, But...

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