SAN DIEGO, August 19, 2011—Who says President Obama has no plan for jobs? His plan is solid as steel and even comes in three parts, a Holy Trinity of its own: Part One already happened, a bus tour explaining that Part Three (his actual ideas) will arrive after Part Two, his vacation.
Pundits, journalists, and talk show hosts are abuzz with speculation. What exactly will our president share in September? Is the suspense absolutely killing you? Be of good cheer! We may know the answer already. Freely admitting that I have no window into the future and nothing to base my opinion on other than almost three years of observed Obama behavior, may I be so bold as to predict...(Drum roll please)... a speech?
What kind of speech? Oh, something that rambles on for a long time, preempting your favorite TV show. Any honest analysis will uncover nothing new, but rather a recycled version of his previous 88 speeches. Still, the much anticipated lecture will be dressed up to sound like the greatest burst of inspiration since Moses heard from God on Mt. Sinai. God will not be mentioned, however. The last thing Obama wants to do right now is sound like Rick Perry. Obama as a Messiah? Sure. But let's just leave God out of it for now. Plenty of time to court the Evangelical vote during the general election year.
The President has a plan... (Image: Associated Press)
What are the refurbished elements? Somewhere in Obama’s speech, we’ll hear about raising taxes, but he probably won’t use the electrically charged word. Instead, he will point out the need for “revenue” if we’re going to build jobs and “extra revenue” if those jobs are going to be green.
Of course, some phrases are so effective that they cry out for recycling, even if they can't pass as fresh. In this vein, there will undoubtedly be a repeat appearance of “the rich must pay their fair share.” That one, Obama simply can not resist. His definition of “rich” is a bit elusive and difficult to pin down. The range is vast, somewhere between any person who actually runs a successful business, and greedy, tycoons who own private jets. But in his speech, we shall hear about the latter, not the former. Examples of rich people with airplanes will have more to do with oil companies and less to do with Hollywood celebrities, vacationing neighbors at Martha’s Vineyard, or Democratic personalities who fly around the world giving lectures about carbon footprints.
We’ll be reminded again that stimulating an economy takes time. After all, Obama inherited this problem. To make it sound new, he will avoid the words “George Bush,” but the meaning will still be clear.
The tone of his speech will titillate us with inspirational challenges about both parties laying their differences aside in a “bipartisan” way and working together. (I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about this.) Incidentally, “working together” means doing things exactly as Obama wants them done, but he will not describe it that way. Instead of telling us what he wants, he’ll tell us what “the American people” want. Obama, after all, is merely a humble servant who rubs elbows with common folk.
Obama will wind things down with some moving, heart-wrenching testimonies of specific individuals he’s met on the road, including at least one story from Grandma Betty who is concerned about Medicare cuts and who knows how dreadful it will be if people like Paul Ryan have their way. But she will be unfamiliar with the future of Medicare under Obama Care.
Finally, we will hear that “the American People” are tired of Washington as usual. Obama will paint himself as one who is outside Washington. Ironically, this part of the speech will be closest to the truth. Obama, after all, comes from Chicago, and the Chicago way needs no explanation. It is its own definition.
If the speech's ideas ever become a bill, it will not stand a snowball’s chance in hell of passing our Republican dominated House of Representatives, but then, that is the idea. Obama will now have additional fuel for his campaign talking points: “Camelot, Shangri-La, and Brigadoon were within our reach, but those Tea Party Republicans ruined everything.”
It may just work. True, any sensible person will yawn, but sensible people did not vote him into office the first time.
Bob Siegel is a weekend radio talk show host on KCBQ and columnist. Details of his show can be found at www.bobsiegel.net.
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