Sequester woes: Congress needs a mom

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Republicans and Democrats need to end the sibling rivalry, or I’m telling Mom.
Photo: Mom know neither one of you is innocent — AP

CHICAGO, March 8, 2013 — Time for the latest installment of Kitchen Counter Politics, this column’s occasional attempts to take what’s happening in the political arena and make it all a bit more relatable to the rest of us.

Previously, Kitchen Counter Politics compared the chaotic, right-back-where-you-started Obama/Boehner budgeting process to the popular children’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and likened Congress’ attempt to reduce the deficit to a sink full of dirty dishes.

So let’s take a look at what’s happening now, a year and a half later.

Wow. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

These days, the words “budget” and “deficit” have been joined by that rascal “sequester.” The common definition of sequester is to remove, separate, or isolate. Kind of like sending the troublemaker to the corner for a time-out.

State of the Union: Step aside, Mr. President. Mom should be in charge AP

Legally, though, sequester has a little more of an edge to it: “to remove temporarily from the possession of the owner; seize and hold, as the property and income of a debtor, until legal claims are satisfied.” Or in Mom-speak: “Until you pay for the lamp or the window or the budget deficit or whatever it is you broke, it’s coming out of your allowance.”

So basically, the sequester is removing money from all government budgets, pretty much across the board “until legal claims are satisfied.” The “legal claim,” in this case, is Congress’ responsibility to address our budget and deficit, and since that’s what we’re looking for, “sequester” is going to be around for a while.

Congress, they would like us to think, is trying to fix things. They would also like us to think that the whole mess is the other guy’s fault.

But Mom knows better. Mom knows no one is innocent and no one is wholly at fault. Mom also knows that no one is trying his or her best to fix things.

So what does Mom do?

Truth be told, Mom’s most appealing option is to buy a one-way ticket to Tahiti and sequester herself away from the whole mess. But aside from following Congress’ bad example of vacation timing, Tahiti would require dipping into the retirement savings.

Congress needs a time-out chair

Oh, so what. With the rising, uncontrolled costs of healthcare, that retirement savings is going to end up in the hands of hospital administrators anyway.

But she is Mom, and she realizes the damage caused by neglecting to lead by example. She’s in this for the long haul.

Mom has several options. Her mediating skills have been fine-tuned over the years, but these stubborn children have no intention of compromising. She could take away more privileges, but that just creates more resentment. She can’t beat the special interests at bribery, so that’s out.

One option would be to send them both to their room, which is about the only thing they share nicely anyway, and tell them they cannot come out until this is settled. Mom just better be prepared to carry a lot of meals up to that room.

Unfortunately, the Republicans and Democrats are not children. They are child-adults. You hope they hear you, and the majority of the country, when you tell them that the best way out of this is to compromise, but the problem with child-adults, whether they are in Congress or your home, is that you honestly cannot make them do anything they don’t want to do. If they don’t want to stay in their room, child-adults ignore you and their mess, and they leave.

However, while you can’t make child-adults stay, you can kick them out. That is what voting is all about. Congressional elections are still a ways away, but time wounds all heels. Or is it heals all wounds?

No, in this instance it’s more optimistic the first way.

Whether she had planned to previously or not, Julia Goralka will be standing in line to vote in her next Congressional election. Contact Julia via Facebook at www.facebook.com/julia.goralka or through the Ask Me A Question link above.


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Julia Goralka

Julia's 6th grade teacher wrote on her report card that he wanted an autographed copy of her first book. Since then, she has done very little writing aside from some creative writing classes 30 years ago and, more recently, a bit of journaling. Instead, Julie found herself working at a major Chicago-area bank, first as a word processor, then secretary and eventually a Division Coordinator for a marketing desk on the trading floor. The bank wasn't a very creative environment, but she is one of the few people around who can type numbers almost as quickly as words.

For the past 19 years Julie has been a stay-at-home mom to her three children, all of whom are beautiful and obnoxious in their own ways. Now that they are all teenagers, Julie is discovering that there is life beyond dishes and laundry, and she is ready to let the dust pile up on the shelves and explore it. Well, maybe she'll let the dishes pile up instead of the dust; one of the teenagers is allergic. 

Oh, and there's a husband around here somewhere, too.

 

Contact Julia Goralka

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