TOKYO, July 30, 2012 - I am going to Harvard.

That is what Maia said to the headmaster of the American School in Japan when she was in third grade. She made the announcement as we were saying good-bye to him, his wife, and their two daughters. Maia had spent a few hours after school playing with Elizabeth and Caroline, and I was there to take her home.

I am going to Harvard.

I do not remember what prompted Maia to calmly declare her college plans to the man who was a graduate of both Princeton and Harvard, but even today, I can feel the uncomfortable embarrassment that overwhelmed me. I was completely taken aback, and all I wanted was for the ground under my feet to open up, and swallow me quickly.

But the ground I stood on stayed firm, and I rescued myself by mumbling my thanks, and hurriedly leaving with the culprit who remained blissfully unaware that with that one sentence, she had projected a stereotypical image I had been avoiding, that of the pushy Asian mother and the overachieving daughter.

I am going to Harvard.

How did Maia even know what Harvard was! My husband and I were graduates of Japanese universities, and while we both knew the prestige that came with a Harvard degree, to us, Harvard was nothing but a tourist destination in Boston that we missed when we visited a couple of years ago.

Instead of taking Maia to see the statue of John Harvard, we went to the New England Aquarium to see the seals and sea lions perform, and to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts to sit before Monet’s La Japonaise, Camille Monet in Japanese Costume.

I am going to Harvard.

Where did Maia get the idea? Who put it there? Does she really want to? Does she even know what it means? Can she go to Harvard?

I asked myself all these questions and more on the way home, and for the next few days, I was Sherlock Holmes searching for clues and answers.

The where, when, who and how were easy.

When we lived in Manhattan, Maia often went on playdates with Stacey whose father was a Yale alumnus. Even after we came back to Tokyo, Maia and Stacey remained friends and wrote to each other. In her most recent message, Stacey gushed about spending her summer vacation visiting Harvard, Princeton and Yale, and how she liked Harvard the most.

Looking back, I think Maia was in awe of Stacey, the girl who wore Laura Ashley dresses and leather Mary Janes to school, used big people words, and read big people books. Stacey took ballet lessons, and played the cello. She also took French lessons, and went to Paris to practice. Maia was very impressed by Stacey, and if Stacey was going to Harvard, she was going, too!

I am going to Harvard.

Of course, Maia was simply copying Stacey. And yet, what if she really wanted to go to Harvard? How does a parent know when to take a child seriously? I did not have the slightest idea, and like always, I played it safe. I decided to believe Maia.

Mommy: So, you want to go to Harvard?

Maia: Yes.

Mommy: Why?

Maia: Because it is a good school.

Mommy: How did you know?

Maia: Stacey said so.

Mommy: How does anyone get to Harvard?

Maia: By studying hard, and getting good grades.

Mommy: Can you do that?

Maia: I think so.

And every year, before the start of a new school year, I would ask Maia if she still wanted to go to Harvard. She never wavered, and I learned to support every affirmative answer with suggestions and advice that brought her closer to her goal.

As she grew older, Maia discovered the true meaning of Harvard. Yes, it was that selective Ivy League college in Cambridge, Massachusetts, but it also came to represent the good education that many colleges all over the world offered.

By the time she was a high school freshman, Maia had outgrown Harvard. She began looking at other colleges, from Franklin and Marshall to Swarthmore. She seriously considered the Ivy Leagues only in her junior year when she was truly comfortable with her own strengths and weaknesses.

In the end, she did apply to Harvard, and to Princeton, and to Yale. She was accepted by all three, and she has since graduated from one of them.

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