Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is an ingenious man—stupid, but ingenious. Being from Illinois, I wouldn’t put anything past him. I also wouldn’t put anything in front of him either. I mean, a guy who would sell a U.S. Senate seat—knowing that the feds were tapping his phones—is capable of anything. Yes, he’s probably off to the Big House, but the more serious question is … can he win NBC’s "Celebrity Apprentice"? Before revealing our Top 10 list of weird ways Blago can (still) win, let’s get you up to speed:
THE TEST:
In this week’s episode of “Celebrity Apprentice,” Donald Trump challenged the contestants to build a new storefront for Kodak’s new campaign, “Kodak Moments.”
ANALYSIS:
In his heyday, Blago easily could have won “Celebrity Apprentice.” But with his money pal, Rezko, sitting pretty in prison, Blago’s days as an influence peddler are over. Now he couldn’t sell milk to a Cheese Whiz factory (is there milk in Cheese Whiz?) and strange women on the street apparently confuse him with Donny Osmond. That plus 16 felony charges from the feds and … frankly, it doesn’t look good. Still, Blago did better than he did on last week’s episode by utilizing his adept skills in political doubletalk to his advantage. When you throw politics into the mix, Vegas odds get a little tricky.
The first political rule on "Apprentice" is “Don’t draw too much attention to yourself.” Why? Easy. When you undertake a prominent leadership role, you put yourself directly at risk. After recommending Sinbad as team leader, Blago quickly receded into the background, preferring to work the New York City street crowds, take photos and proclaim his innocence.
This was, more or less, the strategy used in the recent health care debate. Make a big deal out of “deem and pass” so you shift the attention away from reconciliation; don’t call it a public option and instead just take over the insurance industry; vote late on a Sunday night; yada, yada, yada. All of these strategies are based on human nature—on how people react or don’t react. You get the idea.
Anyway, it turned out to be a good strategy in the end when Blago’s Team RockSolid team lost the challenge to Team Tenacity based on the points issued by Kodak executives.
Once in the boardroom, it came down to three—rock star Bret Michaels, comedian Sinbad and Blago himself. Here, Blagojevich also avoided another trapdoor. He could have made it personal like most contestants do. Instead, he “blamed the rules of the game” for his decision to condemn Sinbad and thereby avoided the potential wrath of the other contestants in future rounds. Politically brilliant. Boy, he could still win this thing.
“Celebrity Apprentice” is about conniving people who take credit for things they aren’t responsible for and shift blame for the things they are responsible for. In other words, a perfect political environment! Too bad Blagojevich just wasn’t as smart when he was the governor of Illinois.
THIS WEEK’S OUTCOME: Bye, bye Sinbad!
Vegas odds against Blagojevich are about 25-1 at this point. However, in the spirit of fairness, we’re counting down The Top 10 Weirdest Ways Rod Blagojevich Can (Still) Win “Celebrity Apprentice.”
10. Use the fact that you may go to prison for pity votes with the Donald.
9. Give Ivanka your secret to fluffy man hair.
8. Trick Bret Michaels into eloping with some hot “Rock of Love” bimbo.
7. Put Icy Hot in Goldberg’s jock strap just before the “showdown.”
6. Try to sell Donald Trump Jr. a U.S. Senate seat in Illinois. Oops!
5. Spin Cyndi Lauper around really, really fast.
4. Wiretap Trump’s phone and threaten to turn him in to the feds with Jesse Jackson Jr.
3. Get a loan from convicted felon Tony Rezko and use it to bribe the other contestants.
2. Find out from Rahm Emmanuel if “reconciliation” can be used to bypass the firing process.
And the #1 Top Weirdest Way Rod Blagojevich Can (Still) Win “The Celebrity Apprentice” is…
1. Become an avatar. Everyone likes avatars!
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