Huge development: Chris Bosh will cherish the sand between his toes

Some mysterious source has revealed a gargantuan plot twist in the 2010 free agency saga: Chris Bosh will be joining Mario Chalmers in Miami. Photo: Associated Press

Some mysterious source has revealed a gargantuan plot twist in the 2010 free agency saga: Chris Bosh will be joining Mario Chalmers in Miami.

Oh, and Dwyane Wade, too. 

This “person with knowledge of the situation” says that Bosh is “definitely going” to Miami and that “amateur bloggers should feel free to break this news in their respective blogs and should not worry about looking like the biggest joke since Robert Swift when this doesn’t actually happen.”

(Ok, so I’m still jilted from the Cavs’ coaching-hire drama. How dare news media betray me. This blog is definitely read by more than my mother and second cousin, Jimmy.)

Raptors’ general manager Brian Colangelo apparently has heard “nothing official from anyone,” so no word if Bosh would simply sign with the Heat or if a sign-and-trade would occur. If the Heat sign Bosh outright, he can receive a five-year deal worth a maximum of $96 million. In a sign-and-trade, Bosh would be eligible for a six-year deal worth as much as $125 million. I can’t see a sign-and-trade happening, for the Heat literally have no viable trade chips without completely depleting their roster. (Only Michael Beasley and Chalmers are under contract for next season.) Plus, a sign-and-trade is increasingly falling out of favor in the Raptors’ front office, despite reports that they would be open to commencing such a move with Cleveland. (The Cavs actually have trade chips, you see. For instance: Delonte West’s shotgun/guitar case combo.)

So, we finally have decisions being made after days of ambiguous, frustrating silence. With this deal presumably in the works, now the nation awaits Lebron’s decision, which will apparently be announced on Thursday night in a one-hour special on ESPN. (This could only mean he’s leaving – Cleveland would get a 15-second news brief on Versus instead of a lavish, ceremonial special on ESPN. This has New York City written all over it. With a Monteverde.) 

Now that Bosh and Wade are together, will Lebron feel jilted? Confused? Aroused? Until Thursday night, he will be harnessing his inner Lady Gaga with an unflappable poker face. 

In any case, we are finally nearing the end of this ghetto soap opera. Now that is a reason to celebrate and buy new underpants.

Arbitrarily-placed, irrelevant tidbits:

Partisan World Cup prediction: Spain over Germany, 1-0. Torres finally gets off the schnide and, like 2008, torches Lahm and boots one by Neuer for the game’s only goal.

Music pick of the day: The xx

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Samuel Bovard

Sam Bovard is a weird dude on the cusp of adulthood. His immaculate capacity for sports knowledge has terminally crippled his social skills, leaving him paralyzed in large groups, and halted the growth of his maturity at age thirteen. But he's just fine with that. He is currently a student at Grove City College, just outside of Pittsburgh. Follow Sam on Twitter@Free_Samson. You know, if you want to.

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