Topless photos: A relationship do? Or don’t?

What is working for other couples may not work for you, so don’t feel pressured. Photo: Talk on the phone to your boyfriend, but don't send topless photos to him

SALT LAKE CITY, May 4, 2013 —Write the Ask Angela Column by sending an email to or through the Ask Angela Facebook page.


My boyfriend and I live long distance from each other, and recently he’s been hounding me to text him some topless photos to make the distance not feel so far. I feel like there have been a million horror stories about this sort of thing, but he insists that all of his friends’ girlfriends do it and it’s no big deal.

I’m really not comfortable with it, and I don’t want my pictures ending up all over the Internet or something equally awful. Is this a reasonable fear? Am I just being a wet blanket? Should I just send the pictures and be done with it? 

Dear Far&Away,

At the risk of becoming an advice column that is the enemy of boyfriends everywhere, our official stance is do not take or send those pictures.

Yes, there are horror stories of things like that ending up in the wrong place, remember Prince Harry’s trip to Vegas? Anthony Weiner twitter account? A million other celebrities and their cell phone pictures?

The outcome is usually very embarrassing and these celebs have teams of PR people working 24/7 to clean up the mess, but the biggest issue in your scenario is that regardless of these implied threats, you’re just not comfortable with it, and that is reason enough not to do it.

Who cares if his friends’ girlfriends are doing it?

A. What do they have to do with you?

B. How would they feel that everyone knows about their topless pics and

C. Do these supposed girlfriends even exist?

In all seriousness, don’t force yourself to be comfortable with something if you’re not comfortable with it. When it comes to intimacy (digital or otherwise), if it feels wrong for you, it probably is wrong for you.

Go with your gut, and consider the advice that comedian Dane Cook gave to Vanessa Hudgens a few years ago, “Girl, you got to keep your clothes on, phones are for phone calls.”

Readers: Do you think our friend is being a “wet blanket”? What’s your opinion on sharing digital risqué photos with your honey?

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Angela Trusty

Angela Trusty brings her great life observations and advice Communities.  Angela also authors   ‘Ask Angela’ which also appears bi-monthly in the Deseret News. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the lucky sibling of 5 sisters and 1 brother.

She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but Baltimore will always be her home. 


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