The Pope says I’m saved, my mom says I’m not

A mother regularly badgers her son about his lack of religious beliefs, and it’s ruining their relationship. Photo: Religion can be a source of arguments and not discussions

SALT LAKE CITY, May 31, 2013 — Write the Ask Angela Column by sending an email to or through the Ask Angela Facebook page.

Dear Angela,

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Without getting into another religious debate, I’d just like to say how refreshing the new Pope’s latest comments were about who will and who will not be “saved.” With that said, my mother is not on the same page as the Pope and is consequently making coming home to visit unbearable for me because she views my lifestyle as an abomination.

I’m not sure where she gets off thinking that she can dictate who I do and do not worship. I’m at my limit and I may be the first person to ever do this but I’m about to “break-up” with my mother and never go home again. She won’t change, and I won’t change, so what other choice do I have?

Religious disagreements can be hurtful

Sincerely, Sinning Apparently

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Dear Sinning Apparently,

Don’t break up with your mother.

She loves you and even if it doesn’t feel like it, this faith debate is probably more about her wanting to make sure you have a happy and fulfilling life than it is about trying to drive you crazy.

Religion can be hard to talk about. For many people, faith is a sacred thing and even a slight disagreement can feel like an insult. Instead of debating with her who will be saved or if you should go to church, why not talk about something that you both can agree on?

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Like the fact that you both want a healthy relationship, or the fact that as an adult there are a lot of decisions that you’ll be making that she may not agree with but that doesn’t mean that you don’t respect her or your upbringing.

If you show dedication to your relationship, and emphasize your desire for mutual respect, with patience, she will hopefully follow your example.

Readers: How do you handle familial disagreements? Have you ever “broken up” with a family member? Do you have any regrets?

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Angela Trusty

Angela Trusty brings her great life observations and advice Communities.  Angela also authors   ‘Ask Angela’ which also appears bi-monthly in the Deseret News. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the lucky sibling of 5 sisters and 1 brother.

She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but Baltimore will always be her home. 


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