It’s just flirting, not cheating, right?

What may be flirting today could become something more serious tomorrow. Photo: Easy to cross the line from flirting to something more.

SALT LAKE CITY, May 24, 2013 — Write the Ask Angela column by sending an email to askangela.dn@gmail.com or through the Ask Angela Facebook page.

Dear Angela,

I have a girlfriend and everything is fine with her: She’s great, I love her, things are good with us, and we’ll probably move in with each other at the end of the year. Here’s the thing. There is this other girl at my office that I flirt with every day. She’s cute, witty and honestly makes the workday bearable for me. A co-worker/friend of mine cautioned me to cool it saying I was “cheating” on my girlfriend. I think it’s ridiculous. This is just harmless flirting. What do you think?

Sincerely, Josh

Dear Josh,

If your co-worker/friend thinks there may be something questionable about your workplace behavior, it is a good idea to listen.

Flirting with people outside of your relationship is a slippery slope. Today’s harmless witty remark is tomorrow’s supply closet kiss or at least that is how it works on Grey’s Anatomy.

A good rule of thumb is if your girlfriend were around, would she feel uncomfortable with your flirting? Disrespected? Humiliated, even? You say you love her, so be sure to treat her with love even when she is not there. That means saving your best lines for her.

You could also imagine the roles reversed. How would you feel if your girlfriend was flirting with her spinning instructor to make the class go faster? Or chatting up the shop clerk for sales on her favorite perfume? It all may be harmless at first, but people get hurt in these situations all the time.

The workday is long and it is good to have healthy office relationships, but there is a line that can be crossed, and if you have a co-worker who tells you that you are close to that line it is because you probably are.

Readers: What do you think? Does harmless flirting with others show disrespect to your partner?


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Angela Trusty

Angela Trusty brings her great life observations and advice Communities.  Angela also authors   ‘Ask Angela’ which also appears bi-monthly in the Deseret News. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the lucky sibling of 5 sisters and 1 brother.

She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but Baltimore will always be her home. 

 

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