At my school, every year, my group of guy friends will rate the “Top 20 Hot Girls” in the class. It’s kind of like Maxim’s Top 100 list only for college ladies. It’s kind of fun, and they do it every semester and we girls love or hate it, depending on the outcome.
Only this semester, I wasn’t on the list. I’ve put on a few pounds and I broke up with one of the guys, who helps put the list together, and maybe it’s silly, but I just feel really hurt about the whole thing.
Should I approach these guys and ask them why they decided to keep me off the list? If not, how can I feel better?
No, you should not go asking about this list. Instead, you should get your 1960s on, find a bra, burn it and refuse to be part of such a ridiculous tradition that’s so demeaning to women.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Who are these guys to determine what is/what is not beautiful?
2. What would approaching them about the list do? “Well, these are the things you can change to be considered next semester….” Yuck.
3. And what do you think makes you beautiful? Question #3 is the one to focus on.
In this scenario, what your internal voice is saying is you do want to be evaluated. A break up and some added weight can make even the most confident person feel a little off her game. Add to that an arbitrary list about beautiful women that you’re not on?
We know that can hurt. But, Girl, the pounds, the list, and even your mirror do not determine, qualify or define your beauty.
Keep going to school, try to be positive about yourself and others and only allow those uplifting voices to be contributing writers on your own personal “beautiful list.”
Just because something is tradition, and some people think it’s fun, doesn’t make it good.
Readers: Do you think lists like these are harmful? Or just good fun? What advice could you give this young lady?
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