What to do when a friend turns on you

When your friends don’t treat you well, don’t stick around to take the beating. Photo: What to do when a friend becomes a foe and begins to snarl

SALT LAKE CITY, April 26, 2013 — Write the Ask Angela Column by sending an email to askangela.dn@gmail.com or through the Ask Angela Facebook page.

Dear Angela,

My friend has turned into a monster. It would make me sick all over again to delve into her awful and very new behavior, but my question is this: What do you do when your “friend” inexplicably and unexpectedly turns on you? I’ve wasted too many hours, phone calls, text message conversations, and nights staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what her problem is, now I’d just like to know what to do to move on. Tips?

Sincerely, FriendsForever?

Dear FriendsForever?,

What to do with difficult friends? AP photo

Get a pair of scissors and cut ties.

It may sound harsh, but don’t let this issue have any more of your time.

Now maybe the “right” (read: textbook) thing to do is to approach your friend, sit down with her, ask her what’s wrong, tell her you care about her and that you’re here for her in her time of need if she would just help you understand blah, blah, blah. But, my guess is that you’ve already done that, so now it’s time to just let her be however she’s going to be, while you politely, lovingly yet decidedly refuse to be an audience to it.

Maybe she’s unhappy with her life? Maybe things at home are rough? Maybe you unknowingly offended her and the more you don’t realize it, the angrier she gets? It could be a million things, and she’s the only one who knows, so as an adult (I’m assuming she’s an adult) if she wants to remedy the situation then she’ll need to speak up. If she doesn’t want to fix things, then she won’t speak up (like right now) and why should you lose sleep/time/energy/life over a one-sided friendship?

You shouldn’t, so don’t.

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Angela Trusty

Angela Trusty brings her great life observations and advice Communities.  Angela also authors   ‘Ask Angela’ which also appears bi-monthly in the Deseret News. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and the lucky sibling of 5 sisters and 1 brother.

She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but Baltimore will always be her home. 


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