WYTHE CO., Va., June 13, 2012- One Million Moms (O.M.M.), a creation of The American Family Association, has urged its members to boycott J.C. Penney this Father’s Day in response to their openly gay catalog ads. This is but one of many companies on the boycott list of the. A.F.A.
Pay no attention to the fact that O.M.M. has only 47,533 “Likes” on its Facebook page, it must be new math, unfamiliar to an old gal like me.
For all of you last minute shoppers, let’s go over who you should not patronize, according to the A.F.A. and One Million Moms.
First off, on your way to shop, if Ricky Martin, NSYNC, REM, Queen, K.D. Lang, Melissa Etheridge, Sir Elton John, George Michael, Adam Lambert, or any other openly gay performer comes on the radio, turn it off.
You cannot drive a Ford product on your way to the mall; they are on the boycott list as well. On your way you cannot stop at 7-Eleven, Burger King, or Carl’s Jr. to pick up a snack. You guessed it; all on the list of who not to patronize.
Next, where to shop? No tools for dad from Home Depot or Sears, they are on the boycott list for supporting gay rights. You cannot go to J.C. Penney, Abercrombie and Fitch, The Gap, Calvin Klien, K Mart, Target, or Old Navy to buy dad clothes; all banned as well.
To buy dad a card you must avoid Hallmark Cards. To rent a video for dad’s amusement you cannot shop at Blockbuster Video or The Movie Gallery.
All this can be overwhelming to a person, and many will buy a Wal Mart gift card and choose to stay home and watch television instead. But before you click that remote, be aware of all the gay entertainment you must avoid.
“Good Morning America” has not one, but two openly gay members on the staff, so you cannot get your news here. “Anderson Cooper 360” must be avoided as well, since he is openly gay.
In the afternoon line up, avoid Ellen Degeneres at all costs, she’s a double whammy since she is a spokesperson for J.C. Penney (on the boycott list), and openly gay. Don’t pay any attention to the fact that in its nine years her show has racked up 32 Daytime Entertainment Emmy Awards or that she is up for 12 Emmy awards this year alone. Just remember, she is gay and must be banned.
How about a sitcom in syndication, surely they are safe for viewing? No “Bewitched,” since Dick Sargent and Paul Lynde were both gay. Avoid “Frasier” since cast member David Hyde Pierce is openly gay.
“How I Met Your Mother” and “Doogie Howser, M. D.” are unacceptable since Neil Patrick Harris is openly gay as well. “Will and Grace” and “Sex and the City” have gay cast members and gay content, so avoid these with double the diligence. Again, too many to list, but you get the idea.
Don’t even bother with night time entertainment on television. The genre it is awash with gay actors and themes. Again, pay no attention to the awards the shows have received, they all came from “Gay Hollywood” and should be avoided.
How about a replay of a classic film, surely they are safe? Anything with Rock Hudson is off limits, and by default, anything starring Elizabeth Taylor, since she so openly supported Mr. Hudson during and after his losing struggle with AIDS.
No matter how much you love “Giant,” with James Dean, Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, Dennis Hopper, Earl Holliman, Rod Taylor, or Sal Mineo, you cannot watch it. Despite the fact that In 2005, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant,” it had not one, but two gay cast members in Rock Hudson and Sal Mineo, so it must be avoided as well.
If you happen across any of the Harry Potter films, or any of the three “Lord of the Rings” films, you have to switch the channel since Ian Mckellen, who is openly gay, starred in Lord of the Rings and of course, Professor Dumbledore was gay.
No Disney films, period. The corporation extends its health benefits to the live-in partners of gay employees. That also means no trips to any Disney amusement park. Sorry kids.
Be especially careful of the Disney films “The Little Mermaid,” and “Beauty and the Beast,” as Howard Ashman was the lyricist for these films, and is openly gay.
Now, on to the commercials, and what they sell. If Pampers, Crest, Clorox, S.C. Johnson & Sons, Kraft Foods, Nutrisystem, Proctor and Gamble, Tide, Ikea, or Mary Kay try to sell you something, do not fall for it. They are all on the AFA boycott list.
Now that you are properly armed with the knowledge of where it is “safe” to shop for dear old dad, happy shopping! Looks like dad gets a Wal Mart gift card, or an especially long hug (unless you are a son, then opt for a firm handshake instead), but beyond that the choices are few.
Maybe One Million Moms should just calm down with their bigotry, and realize the children they are trying to protect may one day be the reason they give up their intolerance, and just love them for who they are.
We can only hope.
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